† MIDNIGHT MUSINGS;

Disillusions

2012-02-09T02:38:00.000+08:00

I hate those moments when I log into Facebook and see my news feed cluttered up with someone's spam shares on pictures and quotes that promote what a girl wants and what every boyfriend should do.

Seriously. I know you're excited about Valentine's Day, but keep it between you and your significant other, eh? While some(hey, I'm being fair here, alright) of those shares were pretty darn sweet(cause duh, which girl doesn't secretly habor hopes for something or some dream to be fulfilled), the rest were just...plain cheesy. It made me facepalm like..like no tomorrow. What's with these potential feminists and their constant churning out of photos and quotes that encourage young women to have this fixed vision of their Prince Charming? They're deluding these youngsters. I do believe relationships are a two-way street; each partner has to meet each other halfway. Not a one way street, be it from a girl's point of view of a boy's perspective. I've come across plenty of that during my high school years to know enough of that.

I'm no 'expert' on relationships. I don't believe anyone can actually be an 'expert' on what one should or should not do. I have only one motto: Meet each other half way. And trust in God to look after the rest.

Oh, and I'm no feminist either. I despise feminists. I think there's a difference between fighting for equality and fighting to get the female race to dominate the entire world. I loathe how some extremist moves tend to lean more to the point of encouraging women to overpower men and take over their roles. I may be a woman, and I do believe in equal rights, but I still adhere to God's word which says we are the 'weaker partner'. I don't think God was downgrading women, I think He was just embracing the feminine, gentle nature of females in which He created them to be. And also telling them men to better take good care of their wives or face the wrath or their Creator.

Anyways! I don't know what drove me to write whatever nonsense I wrote above. I got carried away as usual. Duh. Typical me. I was suppose to write about something related to Valentines Day.Oh, yes, my insane college campus is having a Valentine's sale.. teddy bears, chocolates, yadda yadda yadda. Stepped out today after class ended and saw the booth all set up. It's surprising how colleges allow for Valentine's Day sales, even openly acknowledging 'lovers' and so on... back in high school, when the clubs wanted to sell stuff in relation to Feb14, they had to rephrase it to 'Friendship Day', which was kinda lame, and somehow didn't stop the boyfriend of one of my classmates from purchasing her a bouquet of 99 roses XD.

Moral of the story? Malaysian public high schools; give it up already. There's no way rephrasing 'Valentine's Day' can actually deter young kids from experiencing getting together or whatever you call it. Besides, Interact Club was selling ROSES, in white and yellow and red... do friends really give roses to each other to express their friendship? D:

Apparently, they do. XD Girls, yes. Guys...um..maybe not so much. Would be pretty awkward if one of them got a rose with a label that said "LOVE FROM BRYAN."

This Valentine's Day, though, I'll be spending it with my beloved partner of...15 years? :DD

Oh, beloved lamchim. Always ready with a cuddle every night. I couldn't ask for a better Valentine's. :)

Goodnight, world. Don't get too caught up in the lovers' den! There's life out there; don't waste it.

Awkward

2012-02-07T17:39:00.000+08:00

The awkward moment when your aunt comes by and tells you things you didn't expect and you unintentionally go red in the face and lose your ability to keep a straight expression.

True story.

Captured

2012-02-06T03:32:00.003+08:00

This reminds me of you.

Because, annoyingly cliche as it is, it makes me smile whenever I see you spring your amazing skills.

This one's for you, because I miss you, and I think about you every time I feel down, or frustrated, or hateful, or annoyed, or impatient, or crappy, or even when I'm happy and cheerful. I think about your patience, your soothing words, your hugs, and I feel better. Thank you for being there for me through all my horrible days. No one's ever understood me more than you have..not even the people who have known me and loved me my whole life.

I know you'll do extreeeeeeemely well for your tests. You shall. Remy Boleh. Lepsy says so. :)

Extend my wishes to my beloved little sister for me, too, won't ya? Chris dear, if you pass your tests, I'll let you wear my baby jacket. Promise.

God bless you. You'll be in my prayers tonight.

Conflicted

2012-02-06T03:15:00.002+08:00

My heart is brewing with uncertainty, and I feel as if I'm being pulled back and forth between what I feel I should do, and what I feel I want to do, but am not sure whether it is right.

In life, you're gonna have to deal with some catfish in which your Christian faith will be tested. My head is whirling with the words patience, kindness, goodness, self-control... and the question: What would Jesus do?

I've asked myself that dozens of times. And I'm not even sure. God would..what would God do? Would He sit down, talk with her, advise her? I do not know. I do not know how to deal with people like her who have not done anything toward me, but simply just stirs up frustration and irritation by her own annoying behavior.

I don't want to be harsh, and brash; I do not want to hurt someone. I know what it's like to be hurt, and I don't want it to happen to anyone else because, after all, she is still my sister in Christ. God loves her just as much as He loves me, nobody deserves to be hurt. I am the most vulnerable person when it comes to the capability to hurt others. I have hurt others before. And I have been hurt myself.

I can be the coldest, hardest, most horrible person anyone has ever known, despite the fact that everyone seems to see me as this sweet young woman. Those who know me well, know my true self, and I'm not a wonderful person. The thoughts I have, the things I do...I'm not proud of them. I am currently restraining myself from breaking out of this anger bubble I wrapped myself in, from bursting out against someone who, despite all the irritation that has caused me, is still innocent. Even if she'd done something wrong, I believe we should love our enemies; because that's what God does.

I'm searching for answers. This issue is testing the Christian character within me. One side of me is saying, "Be hard. Be cold. Tell her off. Let her learn a lesson. She deserves it."

And while I believe, yes, she does deserve it, will it be worth it? Is it worth doing all those out of anger, and potentially hurting someone else? And what about me? What good does it do for me? How will others perceive me, this..this terrible, cold, harsh person?

I have done enough in the past to have earned a terrible reputation, and gained a terrible character. I'm trying to change..but, when such things happen, how do you trust God to give you the right answers, when you've so little faith? What if I go ahead and make the wrong decision instead?

I hated my past self. I was a horrible, horrible person. And I fear my decision might potentially drag me back to where I was. I would lose the respect I'd gained, the trust I'd built up, the friendships I'd made. I fear losing everything. And I believe, absolutely believe, that everyone has a right to come for God, to praise and worship Him and grow spiritually. How can I deny a person that chance? While I may not be the one doing the changing, or God's work, I always want to do what little I possibly can. Anything that would let God do His work, produce His magic.

I am hating myself at the moment because I feel so hateful to another person. And the hate is fueling a particular decision which I fear may not be the right one. But I have no control over it..the urging is incredibly strong, and I cannot seem to let go of the frustration within me. Is it God speaking to me..? HAH. I doubt it. God would not let me deprive another child of His the opportunity to go for youth.

Well. Whatever. I have work to do anyway. God help me; I get answers by the end of the week...but to get answers, Imma have to seek Him first. Will the anger go away?

I hope so.

Long Goodbye

2012-02-01T02:43:00.000+08:00

Happy endings are hard to come by.

But they do exist.

Big brother, I'll miss you so much.

Bookworm

2012-01-30T23:13:00.000+08:00

So I've selected my books, and awaiting Mr Wise's approval on them.

*Cross fingers*

Lets just hope this turns out to be a good choice. Because honestly, I'm really terrified of this first book by Forster. BOOK, Y U NO LESS PAGES? D:

Today...

2012-01-28T23:55:00.002+08:00

I believed again.

And then, I started drowning myself once more.

That is why I am a failure.

Ducking Around

2012-01-26T00:57:00.001+08:00

So my Kor and I joined our cousins for lunch this afternoon, and we were wondering why they chose such a faraway location just to EAT. Plus, I wasn't in a very agreeable mood because I'd missed swimming, it was late, I was worried for my work, and I didn't feel like going.

All in good time, Esther. Like God says; all things work out for good. Well, eventually.

Lunch turned out to be a pretty awesome time...food was awesome. Who knew Vietnamese food could be that delicious? But no bother with the muddle over that. The point is, Ruth was amazing fascinated by the small group of ducks that were waddling and swimming about on the lake at the area where the restaurant was located. She wandered off while the rest of us sat and ate and talked, and didn't return.

We later found her by the steps trying to talk to the ducks. Or so Kor and I were joking.

Oh well.

Join her. Why not?

Oh noes!

Turns out there were geese too. Two, one white and one brown. While the ducks were acting like their distant cousins and being chickens by keeping their distance, the brown goose put on a pretty fearless act.

He walked up to us.

Right out of the water....

..and started flapping his wings.

Like, LOL.

I guess it was really comical, when the white one followed suit in his actions.

And then my aunt showed up with a loaf of bread she'd bought at the store, and the moment we threw a tiny piece, chaos ensued.

The two geese started yelping like hungry dogs, and it was hilarious. But scary. I was half-afraid they were gonna come up to me and start a peck attack for the bread I held in my hand.

Besides, they were slowly but surely waddling towards us. Ruth freaked out when he put his beak in her face, and we both went flapping away ourselves. Hahahahahaa.. ha.

You gotta admit, Brown Goose had guts to approach us up close.

While they pruned themselves, we posed.

(Oh, and that bread bag floating on the water ain't ours. Stupid irresponsible people. Ruining the wonderful artificial beauty of the lake.)

After we'd ran out of bread, the poor feathered residents still remained hopeful for more. I felt pretty bad, and would've bought more bread but we had to leave. *SOB* I did so love feeding ducks. Who knew there was such satisfaction watching the battle for bread amongst pea-brained webbed-feet creatures?

One last official photo.

See that bread bag at the bottom left? Yes, that's ours. And we threw it away.

In the dustbin. WE'RE GOOD PEOPLE. *Cough*

Oh, and also, I forgot to mention that whilst the feeding frenzy, shoals of fish and two tortoises decided to come join in the free meal too. I can't remember the countless times a fish nicked the bread from the edge of a duck's beak. I figured the fish didn't need anymore food(technically the ducks and geese didn't either, look at their size! Ready for roasting.), so I threw the bread as close as possible to the feathery ones. I guess you could say I'm quite biased. Oh well. I eat fish, not ducks.

I tried my best to get some bread into the poor little bumbling tortoise's mouth, but it was just too slow. I felt so sorry for it, cause I have a soft spot for little tortoises having had them for years as pets.

Still, I think the little things get food everyday from the students who have nothing better to do but throw food at them. They're well fed, I believe.

I do want to go back and feed those ducks again, but it'll prolly never be the same with students running around and not a single moment's peace anywhere. I guess; I'll just have to wait.

Patience is not one of my better virtues.

What I Did Last Summer

2012-01-22T02:31:00.003+08:00

Oh, the things I did for CAS.

Reminiscing about IB always does this to me. And I figured that since I'm no longer gonna keep these photos, I might as well blog about them to show everyone what a bugger CAS hours can be to us students. Oh, but what the heck. Memories; woo!

This...was not the best memory ever. D:

More like, 9 hours of pure torture that sticks to my head forever. I was in so much pain; I don't know how I managed to get home sane.

HEY! Unintended poetry!

*Cough* Moving on..

If you must know, the picture above is related to this one right here.

Selling T-shirts in the name of cancer awareness can be quite daunting.

It wasn't necessarily exhausting, but in fact I'd prefer to be up and doing something. Problem was, sales were incredibly and sadly slow that Sunday, Lysa and I barely sold much compared to the year before(or so our supervisor was bragging to us about how crowded it was and how he superman-ed his way through a request for 60 t-shirts of different sizes all by himself), and we were, honestly, pretty disappointed.

Nobody likes to sit and do nothing at a booth. And I couldn't even play my iPod because it would seem rude if a customer came to enquire and stuff.

Back at school, I learned a few things about what Benny(our supervisor) thought of us.

Phoebe came round telling me that he told her he felt Lysa and I were like statues the whole time. I LOL-ed at that; but at the same time I was pretty annoyed. Dude, we're sitting there the whole hours doing nothing, we've talked almost to our utmost ability and capacity! How dare he compare the environment to that of crickets chirping. The nerve.

THIS...

....made a pretty good show XD.

Poor Isaac, he had to deal with an impatient me, a sister who lost her temper on him, and getting replaced as navigator by my brother. I felt so bad for him after it ended, but that's the best thing about Isaac. He's blessed with amazing patience and near-impossible inability to lose his temper. Though you never know; and I wouldn't because I'm not that close to Isaac.

But if the event comes round again this year...honestly. No more driving for me. I'm just gonna follow and be the stupid fish in the car. :D

BROGAAAA!

The endurance camp had its ups and downs, its highs and lows. I didn't enjoy the 'endurance' part of it, but certain times it was pretty fun. The fun factor decreased, however, when I injured my hands during the obstacle course(Adrian and Chris would have owned the entire thing by showing off their parkour skills to perfection), and lived in fear of infection because we were constantly thrown into the water. I'm not usually one to fuss about water-borne bacteria and viruses, except this time round I really did NOT trust what they had in that 'lake'. *Shudder*

I made myself focus by convincing myself with bio facts: That no matter what sort of bacteria entered my blood, my amazing and highly reliable white blood cells would come eat them up soon as the alarm sets off. In the meantime, I prayed that those platelets in my body wake up and start weaving that mesh to create a scab before I ripped my skin open any worse.

But anyways. Those days are over now ):

I heard that Ms Val and Mr Josh are planning a community service trip to Cambodia for my IB mates, and it makes me wanna kill myself for dropping out. Partly also because I kinda miss my friends there still; everyday I just wonder whether I will be able to find anyone or any friends I can develop a real friendship with. It's like, I feel rather left out everywhere I go. I don't seem to be very good at making friends, and having a truckload of people who love you in every department.

Oh well. There's no turning back now. I've started this race; I have to finish it.

Amused?

2012-01-20T00:03:00.001+08:00

Okay so I've made some drastic changes to my blog. Honestly, I thought it looked pretty at first, but now the intense red is becoming a little too overwhelming. Also, it has NOTHING to do with the upcoming Chinese New Year. I don't hold with CNY celebrations too much... traditions have seemingly gotten burnt out within me. Any sort of culture left in me has seemed to have evolved.

But anyways.
I've removed my chatbox.
I've removed technically everything.
Except my history.
Cause people wanna stalk me.
Do mark the title above it.
But I'm getting off topic again.
So.

Do enjoy burning your eyes out in this fiery red page. Maybe I'll change it to white or something, or find a personalized template(Gahh. Too lazy lahhh!). Oh, and one more thing.
My 'profile' photo is not a photo of me, its a DRAWING of me. Just in case anyone thought I drew it, but I didn't. All credits go to Ms. Sarah-Frank for being the awesome artist who bothered to even draw a photo of a reasonably decent-looking me and my stalker.

And that was because I didn't have another picture, all my saved photos are either in my old laptop or my hard drive which I can't be bothered to take out at the moment. Besides, I think the color suited the background of the blog anyway. But nevermind. Be amused by these changes. Because there are lots more coming.

And coming.
And coming.

Blame Game

2012-01-19T23:14:00.003+08:00

Play the blame game.

*ding* You're at the receiving end of it.

Changed

2012-01-17T18:46:00.001+08:00

Have I changed much?

Same hair, same eyes, same smile, same bulat face, same skin tone, same chubby cheeks.

Minus the fact my face became bulat-er, my teeth became straighter(on the account of suffering for months under the strain of braces), my bangs disappeared, my hair became wilder, and of course, my grin became less cheeky.

Mom thinks that old photo is cute. On the other hand, all mothers adore those old photos with their kids grinning enthusiastically at the camera and doing weird antics that are the reasons their children suffer from embarassment for the rest of their teenage lives.

I didn't even realize it till I propped my student ID up against the frame, and noted the keen resemblance. That photo isn't too bad, it's decent compared to others that should be hidden away and never found again, in my opinion.

You know why?

Precisely.

That's why.

There are just some photos that cannot see the light of day. EVER.

Anyways, I've been feeling much better today after a horrific fever scare yesterday(do read my wonderful little masterpiece below, won't you?), after sleeping so much I do believe I was under hibernation.

I missed school today(regret), and all I'm worried about is having to bother with catching up with one day of absence. Grrrrr.

Sore Throat is still here. It's extremely annoying. But I had bird's nest just now, and it was like heaven.

YESILOVEBIRDSNEST.

Deal with it. I'm still chinese after all.

... though when my mom's friend came just now, she remarked that I looked more and more like a Malay girl. Wonder what my grandma will say to that. XD

Fever

2012-01-16T23:51:00.002+08:00

Hellooooo fever!

I haven't seen you in a long, long time now. Your last visit was like, when? Oh yes, it was nearly a decade ago. It's amazing how you have isolated me and avoided me all these years..whatever have I done to be at the ignoring end of you? Instead, it's your little sisters, Flu and Cold, and your younger brother, Sore Throat, that have been regularly paying me a visit every now and then. It's tough making room for them when they randomly just show up and expect me to treat them like my VIP guests. But I don't have a choice.. I have to. I feed them honey water, garlic pills, Redoxen, occasionally they get oranges cause they love vitamin C, and of course I give them the best, most comfortable bed in the world. Mine, that is. They love it. They always spend hours and hours in it, even if they don't really sleep most of the time, due to their hyper activity.

Have you ever heard of the time when all three of your siblings came to stay? It was pure havoc. At first, Sore Throat showed up and for the first time, he was the most demanding little thing I had ever had to entertain. Nothing kept him quiet..honey water, garlic pills, sleep...none of them. I was on the verge of exasperation and then guess who showed up? Oh yes, Cold! She was also immensely difficult. I don't know why you've never kept her under control as the older sister, but honestly, she was behaving like nothing but a spoilt brat. It was sooo annoying, nothing kept her quiet either! Not even oranges, or hot baths and showers, she continued to whine like a little girl. At the same time, Sore Throat was throwing fits of tantrums, and I was at my wits' end as to how to deal with these entirely spoilt and ungrateful things who refused to leave till they were satisfied. Unfortunately, nothing seemed to satisfy them, and I had to put up with them for TWO WEEKS. Two weeks of hell, it was.

Or so I thought. See, I had been so occupied with the two that I didn't notice Flu sneaking in for her usual stay as well. I was not expecting her. At all. And she made no sound at her presence, but she just added to the havoc which was pretty much a tornado in my sights. Little did I know, her mood was worse than she usually was. While often moody, this time, she was nearly ten times of that. And my ignorance of her only made her even more motivated to add to my misery. She quietly aggravated her younger siblings, and sat back and watched as they plagued me with infected green phlegm(sometimes Cold would throw in red blood specks as well), unending sneezes, watery red eyes, and they Sore Throat was doing a tremendous job stabbing endlessly at my trachea. Oh, and Cold constantly troubled me with a blocked nose so I could not sleep, and had to entertain her instead.

I will not tell you how I finally got rid of them. Because, its a little secret that would only make you want to come back for more. No, never! Though, of all the siblings, Fever, you are the most matured and less problematic one. I don't mind you coming for visits. Well, as long as your mood stays mild and doesn't start boiling like a kettle of water.

Thank you for bringing along your little brother Sore Throat again. He seems to like my place. I wonder why though? And he's not been very happy with his usual honey water...I think I might have to pull out the big guns if he starts his tantrums again. But anyway, not to worry. I won't harm the little thing. I'm actually going to treat him for once tomorrow, by giving him Bird's Nest Soup, which I think he'd like. Maybe you'd like it too. Either ways, don't you worry about me not fulfilling my current duties to you.. the Panadol pill is riiiight next to me now, and I know you're salivating for it. But you gotta wait. Cause I can't think thoroughly with my English homework if you start getting all high with the Panadol. It makes my head spin. Though you're already gladly doing that..along with your other usual gifts of head-throbbings, and body aches, and dizziness. They're very much appreciated.

I hope you have a pleasant stay here, but do mind your manners. I don't tolerate misbehavior!

-Dedicated to all the sick people out there; I hope you all had a good laugh! Okay, so maybe its not thaaat funny, but yeah, that was the best I could come up with. Credits go to Fever, for igniting the idea within me. And Sore Throat, for being a huge pain.

Peace out!

Fears

2012-01-12T21:37:00.002+08:00

I miss.

My friends in IB. Ms. Val. Theater. The quietness. The peaceful surroundings. The casual walks around Plaza Damas. Starbucks Coffee. Gen-Y. i-Zone. The library. Fried Rice(SOBS).

I do not miss.

French. English. Business. Maths. Biology. Theory of Knowledge. The annoying pressure of having to rack up CAS hours. Setting appointments to meet Ms. Tash. The process and paperwork in CAS. THE CHILLING COLD. My lack of sleep. Moi Moi's nagging. MATH(Again!). Driving home after classes. The long hours. Carrying out experiments. The literature content in English(NO I do not like IKWTCBS, Sylvia Plath's depressive poems of self-destruction, and I lost my Siddharta book. Gladly too.).

I am, however, trying to adjust my timetable now so it will enable me to pay a visit to TCSH. It also means that I might have to take three classes in a row(whew!), which is practically almost four hours in a row every single day D: Mom told me to try and change my math class to 8am(shudder), as it will be easier for me to find parking in the early mornings. Problem? Oh yeah of course. MY BRAIN DOESN'T FUNCTION AT 8AM IN THE MORNING. And seriously, math..? Of all subjects? Oh sure, it would like, so work out well when I start snoozing in class.

I might have to bother poor Ms Caryn again tomorrow, if my schedule changes are not successful(She told me to check at the end of today to confirm my application, and I just checked it just now and nope, it was the same.) or to enquire about switching to an earlier math class.

It has been difficult adjusting to the new environment. I am completely and utterly bemused by the stark contrast it has with my previous campus. However, unlike many people who make friends easily and go around having so much fun since day one, I am the living epitome of the foreveralone meme. I'm not even kidding. I'm having so much trouble getting to know my new classmates, and there are completely different people in all three classes.. which do not help. Not one bit.

My breaks have so far not been fun at all. The internet is terrible on campus, there's no place to sit quietly and just chill by yourself(I do that a lot in Hartamas; just me and a hot cup of coffee at Starbucks. Heaven.), the chaos is no fun when you see everyone hanging out with each other and you're just kinda stuck there by yourself not knowing what to do. I really hate the first few days. I hate the transition.
It's VERY pathetic and sad. I am very well aware of it.

I've not had the best pals during IB, but I was comfortable enough with them because we were such a tight-knit bunch of people. There were just 21 of us, and the seniors. Slowly, I got to know them, got to talk to them. Even when I was left alone, I didn't mind. Gen-Y was a nice place to be in, to surf the net, or I usually went out by myself to get a snack or coffee at Starbucks. Here in Subang, there is no place that is peaceful. It's nothing but noise, chaos, noise, and chaos.

This has me wondering whether there is something wrong with my attitude. I haven't been feeling very well after coming home from cell yesterday night, and today I am feeling the exact same way. There's a feeling of intense anxiety and worry that is consuming me. Okay, this is gonna turn into another depressing story, so if you're not up for it, look away, NOW. I was flipping through last year's Gemala edition that Joel brought back, and suddenly all the past failures and unfulfilled desires that I had so eagerly planned to do in high school came rushing back into my head. All the fear returned. My anxiety heightened once more.

What if I remain forever like this? If its like this now..surely its only going to get worse once I enter university? And I'll be abroad too, away from home, away from my family. I'll have to solve, face things alone, by myself. Learn to be independent.

That's the problem with me. I'm such a fearful person. I am afraid of risks..of change, of something different. I take a long time to adapt. I am already afraid of life in university in an alien environment, I won't know what to do. I'm not an independent person. I live in a shell.

I prayed yesterday and cried out to God to ease my fears, to give me some sort of bravery for me to face things by myself for once. I've always admired those people who travel on their own, and sort things out by themselves. I don't know how to do that. High school has made me into what I am today...but there's no point going back and blaming the past. I am to blame too, for not making the effort to try and change my ways or get over my fear and social awkwardness.

And my timetable has so far remained as it is..looks like tomorrow I will have to attend class at 2.15 again and mimic the foreveralone meme for two breaks once more. I am going to insist on changing it to three classes straight. Tomorrow, I'm getting it straightened out.

Gosh, I hate college. Already.

I'm Just A Kid

2012-01-10T02:40:00.001+08:00

Once a kid.. always a kid.

I relived that statement one day during a random visit to the toy store. Ah memories. Who doesn't love running around like a jakun screaming at the sight of toys, toys, and more toys? :D

...oh, and if you're bringing with you four mature young men who whine and are at high risk of a sugar rush, then you know you're in for it.

From left: Chipmunk, Poser, and..er.. Ajay.

I'm supposed to look like I'm holding him hostage, but nooooo, Shia had to go spoil the photo with his chipmunk-ness, and made me look like a chipmunk chewing on his lightsabre too. FAIL.

No, he wasn't trying to destroy the ship. XD

It's a camera trick. I mean, I thought he was gonna throw it like a javelin or a frisbee or something..but, yeah...nevermind..... ahem.

I didn't really know what Yip was up to when he started donning those masks.

He was like a kid in a candy store(LOL) when he discovered the section with superhero masks on. And somehow went mad putting them on and making a fool of himself and embarrassing the rest of us as Wolverine, Spider-Man, a dude that looked like a contractor, and..of course, a pose with Prime. XD

Too bad the helmet was fixed in a box. I think they did that on purpose in case little kids squeezed them on and make off with it for free. I would too. As a five-year-old boy crazed-obsessed with Transformers.

Ah, kids.

For once, Smiley had the upper hand! He's paying back Yip for all those years of suffering he had to endure. Poor poor Smiley. XD

We all kinda thought Yip looked terrible as Wolverine. But nobody said so. Because we enjoyed allowing people to stare at him.

"OMG MOM! LEGO BLOCKS!"

..That used to be me! I mean..sitting at the little table and building stuff out of the miserly amount of bricks they gave us. I remember I fought with this foreign girl once, while we sat building our suff. Before you start making any *COUGH* judgments(!), it was NONE of my fault! I was being a sweet little kid that was defending her younger friend from bullies like foreignerswhocomeherethinkingthey'rethebossandactingallhighandmightylookingdowntheirnosesatthelocalpeople

andpuffingtheirchestsandcheeksoutandtryingtoscareuswiththeirfierceglaresandmeanlooksandtryingto

makeyourunbygivingyouhorriblefirstimpressionssoyoufeelasifyouwannakillthemforbeing

eversoantisocialandawkwardandmakingmefeelasifwe'retheonesdoingeverythingwrong

whenallthewhileallthesepeopledoisjustcomeinvadeyourhomecountryandpretendtheylikeyou

butnooooothesewhitepeoplejustdon'titsallliesItellyouliieeeessss....

..okay so perhaps I got too carried away with my personal thoughts. ahem. Heh. Anyways. Ton continue with my ever so interesting story in my past.

I was about maybe 6,7, maybe 8..when I was in a toy store with my younger friend and we discovered the lego table and started occupying ourselves by building skills on the table.

Then...BAM, this young girl slightly older than me comes and sits down with her sister at the same table. Well, we didn't have a problem with that, sharing is caring, is it not?

My friend and I were just there...peacefully minding our own business...happily and quietly comparing our buildings..when this girl decides that she didn't share the concept I mentioned above.

Oh no, she didn't. She didiiiiin't.

So she makes a grab at my friend's bricks, and snatches away some valuble accessories and other building materials. I looked up when she cried out, and reprimanded the girl for the selfish thing she did right in front of our eyes(Hey, I may be young but I ain't gonna let some selfish little snob come run me over. I wasn't scared of yelling either.). My friend protested, and all she did was wave her off, saying she 'didn't need it' or something like that(Seriously, the memory of it now makes me wish I could go back and give that kid one nice big SLAP to teach her some good lessons about manners) in a really rude way.

I was not a happy person. I was blazing hot with madness.

I snatched away some of the stuff she had stolen, but she managed to save some. She, however, never tried to grab mine because I was either too far away or she didn't dare(HAH!). However, my friend suffered the most. The girl grabbed her Caterpillar(the only thing I clearly remembered her grabbing cause my friend was all like "HEY! MY CATERPILLAR!!" when she snatched it. Isn't she such a sweet kid stealing caterpillars?) and I tried to grab it back but...

..let's not go into details. XD Bottom line is, that kid is a..a... spoilt rotten brat. I think we had a pretty major battle in that toy store. Hahahaha. KIDS, indeed.

Now when I'm recalling it, I can't really tell if that girl was foreign or not. Her face is pretty sketchy, but I do believe she was a foreigner. Or was she Indian? D: Now I'm doubtful.

But I think she spoke with an accent..so..I'm pretty sure she was a tourist or an expat..

..too bad she wasn't white though. Had she been white I'd have given her a punch in the face. Cause I only punch white people. KIDDING.

... I love my white friends. Matthew, don't take this to heart just because I said you're my punching bag, kays? :DD

Okays..moving on..

Strength doesn't cost a penny.

Ajay is big, tall, strapping...and unable to carry Yip XD. Instead, it went vice versa. Considering the fact Yip is missing a whole lot of inches compared to Ajay, that was quite an amazing feat. I told Ajay he has to start lifting weights and working out...but, despite the humiliation, I don't think he took it seriously. Sigh.

(The above statement also applies to a certain buddy of mine who hates to work out. I told him multiple times that I'm stronger than him -and I'm a girl too, goodness!-, but I don't think he got the hint. So yeah. You there. Yes. I know you're reading this. Go lift weights or something. Or crunches. Or pushups. Or else one day I'll be the one carrying you around in the toy store. Would you like the humiliation as well? ;D Bahahaha.)

I definitely had a good time out that day. I figured that since tonight is my last night of freedom before college tomorrow morning, I might as well blog about this before its too late. I was planning on watching Pride And Prejudice tonight, but somehow got caught up and decided to complete my blogging first. By the time this is done, it's time for bed! Which is..now, I believe XD. Have school tomorrow. SIGH.

Goodnight world. ;)

It's been a pleasure to entertain you.

Hypocrisy

2012-01-08T00:35:00.005+08:00

"Don't go and be a hypocrite and go to church and praise God when you're not even obeying His word."

For once, I think I agree with you. Have fun at Sunday service tomorrow.

Tired

2012-01-06T20:04:00.000+08:00

Stop pretending. All you do is make my life a misery.

Take back all your words. You've lost my trust again.

Chocolate People

2012-01-04T00:38:00.005+08:00

Ever heard of chocolate people?

I intended to write about this awhile back, but somehow forgot. But yes, this post is about chocolate people. Or families. Yeah, families would be a better word.

Anyways, the point is, this got me going after I saw a couple at the mall on New Year's Eve. The husband was black and the wife was(possibly) Eurasian(I thought she looked Eurasian, but she definitely has white blood as part of her genes) or white, whichever. The lady was carrying their little baby which was a total adorable bundle *gushes*, as most babies are. Except hers was obviously a mixture of white and black, genes, and is what I often brand as 'chocolate' kids.

It's not a bad term, mind you! Chocolate babies are adorable, and have all the best genes. Well, mostly XD. And they're unique. They're neither white nor black. They're chocolate! Actually, in the film Australia, they called these half-white-half-black kids 'creamy', or 'Creamies', in reference to their creamy-colored skin. Very much like chocolate, I believe. Milk chocolate that is.

Therefore, I have come up with a very subjective(but very logical) equation on these sort of mixed families.

DARK CHOCOLATE+WHITE CHOCOLATE= MILK CHOCOLATE

Tell me I'm wrong?

For example:

White Chocolate+Dark Chocolate

Milk Chocolates! :D

Sorry, just had to do that. I'm not much of a celebrity watcher, but I've always been fascinated by Heidi Klum and Seal, the way they are so different in culture and appearance and yet are drawn to one another. And I've always been amazed at the complete stark contrast between husband and wife, and the adorableness of their milk chocolate children. They were the subjects of interest that had me cooking up that ridiculous equation up there.

But I do think chocolate families are really cute. Just like the couple and their kid which I saw in the mall. The husband was completely dark-skinned, closer to the color black, with dark eyes and hair, and the wife was blonde-ish with porcelain skin and grayish-steel eyes. And the kid was, as I predicted, chocolate-skinned. Milk chocolate-skinned. And so awesomely adorable. I was gushing like a little girl over her new baby sister or something.

Opposites attract?

Perhaps that theory is right to a certain extent.

But I do like it better than 'Two birds of a feather flock together'.

I think that theory only applies to friendships. Relationships? I hardly think so. But that's my opinion. Many people would care to object based on their preferences and such.

Either ways. I have presented my equation here.

This is pretty random. But this is my blog. And I shall be random when I want to.

*Happy New Year!*

First post of 2012, *poof*!

New Year's Eve

2011-12-31T23:56:00.004+08:00

Twentyeleven.

I have exactly half an hour to write my final post of the year, and I do believe I should cap a wonderful year altogether with a suitable blog post. :)

I loved this year. It has been the best year of my life(minus those childhood playarounds which were always ever so carefree and fun), and truly one of new beginnings! I reconnected with old friends, made new ones, experienced new things, grew horizontal, shrunk vertically, got my teeth straightened out, had my braces removed AT LAST(freedumbbbbbbb!), strengthened my relationships with my mom and brothers, went through six months of being a stranger in IB, got top marks in my final year assessment, dropped out of IB(hurrah), abruptly changed courses, discovered a love for brownies, gained a craving for peanut butter, developed an extra layer of fat(make that two), became a camwhore, made my cat dance, got into a few bumpy knockarounds as a new driver on the road, became my sister and brother's personal therapist, became my classmate's personal psychiatrist, discovered a love for waffles, got addicted to frozen yoghurt, gained a craving for Haagen-Daz ice-cream, visited Singapore for the first time(at last!), grew my hair out, punched Matthew/Danny/Sam/Chris/Adrian/Joel/Ivor whenever they annoyed me, jabbed Chris to annoy him, threaten to chop off Chris' hair and shred his gray shirt, invaded the white people's home, got invaded by them in return, watched Land Before Time and sobbed(ITWASSOSADBWAAAAAAAA...), watched LION KING 3D, allowed my church buddies to view me in glasses for the first time, gained a love for hot coffee(caramel macchiato, mmm...), lost my pen, spilled water on my phone and ruined the battery, got a new phone(hurrah), attended my first church camp, attended Younified youth camp for the first time, had my nails turn purple in college nearly every day, nearly became an icicle at Fraser's Hill, lost my level of fitness(SOB), badmouth my orthodontist, disturb my cat each time she's sleeping, learnt how to pronounce 'harrass', argued with Americans over the pronunciation of 'lettuce', 'Haagen-Daz', and 'ration'...... the final one is a battle that has yet to be resolved.

Those were the interesting highlights of my year... ups, downs, highs, lows. I don't regret any of it, and I will definitely not forget everything that has been either a blessing or a lesson to me.

As for the future, 2012 now awaits. What it holds for me, only God knows.

Happy New Year's Eve, everybody. ;)

For the final time, indeed.

Cheers!

Done

2011-12-30T00:42:00.001+08:00

I've done it.

I've switched courses.

It was so difficult today to sign my name on the form that acknowledged my acceptance into CPU. My heart was partly breaking because I was beginning to have second thoughts. My love for IB is not lost; but I think I'm doing what's best for me, and I don't think there's any way to look back anymore.

Breaking it to my former classmates was the hardest. I wrote a rationally long letter to them on the IB page, telling them how much I loved them and how much I had enjoyed IB for those six months despite the major stress and the low parts of it. The comments that followed only shattered my feelings even more; I really will miss my classmates, as different as day and night we are.

I still cannot bring myself to look at my Taylor's bag with my acceptance letter, and brand-new ID card which they issued with a different student ID this time. I'm no longer 1107bh15703, I'm 1201C15703. I still have my IBDP ID card, and I'm going to keep it. Yes, I do believe I'm sounding really emotional right now, but, it's just, I didn't think it would be this hard switching courses.

It just isn't fair. Having to re-start college, go through orientation again, start anew, adjust to different environments, different subject requirements, the syllabus.... how am I going to do this? The path of life is difficult, true, but sometimes, I just wished God would've made my decision a little clearer.

I haven't been close to God lately. I haven't touched my Bible in ages. I've only read a few pages of the wonderful devotion book my mom gave me. Same goes with the gift AJ gave me for Christmas.

A few pages, always, then my enthusiasm is curbed. I'm always so excited at first, flipping through it, but then the interest is just....lost. Gone. I realize this, and I know its happening, yet, I can't seem to stop myself from letting it happen. I'm 'drifting', like how I once read in an article on the church pamphlet. Just going on with life, leaving God out of everything. I know this very well, and yet I'm not bothering to do anything about it.

I can make a difference. I know I should, and I have every ability to do so. I have full control of what I do, and a perfectly sound mind that knows what I should and must do. But I refuse to listen to them, to listen to my conscience. I just don't want to work harder to know God better. I'm lazy. Or I procrastinate. Even as I write this, I can write out all I want and splurge on my feelings, but later I will go to bed and just take a look at my Bible and devotion books and close my eyes and sleep till the next morning. And the cycle will just repeat itself. I know myself better than anyone, and I just know very well that even reading a few pages will not make much of a difference to me.

Those devotion books only really work if you read and meditate on the word of God. You keep things in mind, you memorize Scriptures. You strive to feed that spiritual hunger within you. That spiritual hunger is just not present in me, at all. I'm beginning to doubt myself, and when I make mistakes, I run from God. I'm so ashamed to have done so, I feel as if I'm a hypocrite if I go to church and sing praises and worship, I feel like a hypocrite if I pray and talk to him, I feel as if I don't deserve to be near Him anymore. My worst fear is being a hypocrite in the eyes of the Lord, but I seem to be getting there.

Maybe right now, even as I write this, I'm already a hypocrite. Perhaps all this talk and all this confessions may sound genuine because of the way I use language, but deep inside it's nothing. Truly, its nothing if I don't even bother to work to fix it. Maybe I'm destined to be a hypocrite for life.

I have that habit of avoiding people whenever they are mad at me, or if I think they're mad at me. I... just can't face them, be it their fault of mine or whatever. And the same goes with God. He's pretty much mad at me right now after all my mistakes, which keeps getting bigger and bigger and bigger, and my stubbornness and refusal to fix them, nor ask Him for forgiveness. I can't bring myself to talk to Him, I'm way too ashamed and disgusted at myself, coupled with the lack of faith in God Himself. I don't apologize if I know I don't mean it, unless I was forced to or something. And my unwillingness to apologize to God would mean that I would be a hypocrite if I forced myself to talk to God and ask for forgiveness. Because, let's face it, God hates hypocrites. And my unwillingness is due to the fact I'm just not sorry at all.

Why am I not sorry for my mistakes...?

Heck, I don't know. God is merciful, yes, but only to those who truly regret what they did, and genuinely cry out for forgiveness. I refuse to be a hypocrite, and I refuse to ask for forgiveness, but then it just drags me down even more. But then, if I pretend to tell the Lord I'm sorry and all... He can see my heart. And He knows what is really going on in there. So why bother to pretend, when He's gonna punish you anyway for all that pretence?

..sometimes I feel sick of myself. I don't have any motivation for college in January. I don't feel motivation for anything. It's like, I have the energy and the capabilities, but I just don't have the passion.

Well, whatever. I'm not depressed or anything, just, mildly frustrated at myself at times.

I'll get a grip on myself soon. Whenever. Or when God throws me this huge rock and it hits me so hard I wake up and start bleeding.

Somehow, I always presume that God will do that. All I can picture is God's wrath. And me at the receiving end of it.

Who knows, maybe there's some truth in it.

U.S.S

2011-12-29T15:59:00.000+08:00

HI ;)

Well I intended to allow my shirt to do the talking, but what the heck. Just in case there are some colorblind people seeing this, ya know?

Anyways. Just a warning; this post is super photo-heavy D: I didn't realize I took so many photos in Singapore. Well, I didn't take much, it was just at Universal Studios, where I felt I was on a sugar rush although I didn't eat properly all day. But.. here goes. Scroll down. IF YOU DARE.

WE'RE IN SINGAPORE!

Passing the checkpoint at the border. Dad was frustrated(as usual) though there wasn't much fuss except he forgot to bring the immigration forms for ourselves. And then he got all stressed up when he couldn't find his GPS holder. Only to figure out he was holding it in his other hand... all this while.

He didn't think it was funny, but we all laughed anyway XD.

Singapore wasn't any different from KL, except it was (much much much more)cleaner, neater, organized, and everything including the signboards were in English and not Bahasa. Once we entered Orchard Road, where we were staying, however, it was like KL city centre all over again. With a few minor differences, but who cares?

TEA! :D

We were all hungry after checking in, so we decided to go have a bite or two at the lounge. All that dainty little pastries and titbits and kuih.... *drools*. I was so ravenous I downed a whole bunch of food because I didn't feel hungry for lunch during our journey. That pink kuih was sooo yummy. So was the salmon. And the tuna spread. And the cheesecake... oh man....

..I shall stop thinking about food now. It's bad. BAAAD.

Anyways.. Adrian, I was having all these amazing stuff when I discovered you online and our Skype battle began. XD Just so you know.

Also, because Dad stayed at the hotel a bunch of times, they upgraded us to the executive suite. It was.. crazy, to say the least.

WE HAD WII. XD

That's Joel getting hooked on the Wii after discovering it in the room. He played it all evening.

Boardroom table..?

We were quite confused, to say the least. I didn't understand when Dad told me there was a boardroom table in the suite that could sit ten people. I thought he was pulling my leg. Till I came up and saw this.

Basically it didn't make sense; we needed a family room, not a business-cum-pleasure suite! But the table did not appear in vain, we put it to good use! As in, we used it for dinner when we ordered room service later on. It was hilarious.

Dad:

*Cleaning the crumbs and smudges on the table after dinner*

Mom:

"Careful, don't let the crumbs get stuck in the glass edges and the hole in the middle.."

Dad:

"Stupid table. Why on earth would they make it like that? You can't eat on it!"

Mom:

"WE'RE the ones that are stupid! This table ISN'T meant for eating; its a boardroom table for business meetings!"

Me:

*Sits at the head of the table*

"You're both fired."

Oh yeah. I was channeling my inner Donald Trump. ;D

We were reminded constantly to wake early the next morning, so we could catch an early breakfast and head to Universal Studios EARLY and catch the Transformers Ride before we got left behind and had to line up for two hours. At least, that was what happened to Kor's friend when she went there, or so Kor told me. And I kept true to my promise by waking at 6am *shudder*. Yes, I'm that dedicated.

My Night Nest. :D

Joel and I refused to share sleep space, so he was content with the huge sofa and I was more than happy to have the king-sized bed all to myself :DD. I didn't like sleeping on just one side of the bed because it feels weird with an empty space next to me, so I have this habit of creating a sort of 'nest' in the middle of the huge bed whenever I have a double bed all to myself during vacation days. I did the same this time... and I did not disappoint myself.

I had two large pillows and a few baby ones; Joel took the two extra pillows the hotel provided. I constructed that mess you now see above, and slept soundly like a baby all night long. I never had a better sleep; the bed was soooooo comfortable, and the quilt was so nice and soft and made the bed so cosy and warm :) . *Joy*

So when my alarm forced me up at 6am, I took the time to grab a snapshot of my bedtime memory. Doesn't it look oh so tempting? :D Hey, I only get to sleep in a double bed every once in a blue moon. My bed at home is a narrow miserly piece of mattress compared to that generous helping I enjoyed that night. *Sigh*

I never had so much freedom of movement in my sleep before.

..um.

I don't even know why I bothered to take this, let alone put it up here. I think maybe I was trying to show how many mirrors was lining the suite we stayed in. And yes, I was in a bathrobe. I like bathrobes. They always weigh me down when I wear the hotel ones because of their enormous XXXXL size or something. And slippers! :D Ahh, I do wish I had some of my own at home, but mom thinks they're unnecessary, and utterly ridiculous to have. I agree with her at some point, but.... she just tells me I should wear a sarong like she does. Um. I'd feel weird in a sarong. I wore it a few times during class camp(and then discovered my leg was bleeding from a leech bite), where my friends called me a Japanese.

I beg your pardon? Japanese?? I'm supposed to look Nyonya! But oh well. I get mistaken for a whole lot of races anyway XD.

I'm getting off-topic here, AGAIN. Arrgh! Focus, Esther, FOCUS. Kays, on to the next part...

Well I shouldn't think it's that hard to guess, eh?

The globe thingy. With fog spewing all around.

If you're not careful, you'll lose yourself(or someone) in the thick parts. I lost Joel once. True story.

Another true story :)

That would be me posing with the script that declares us as the First Family or something like that.

We were standing in front of the gates waiting for it to open at ten(after arriving at nine thinking it'd be open, but noooo, Dad made a mistake, hurrah!), when a bunch of staff from U.S.S approached us and asked us whether we were a family with two kids. I was half-afraid they we were in trouble for something, till they dropped a bombshell and asked us whether we'd like to declare the opening of U.S.S for the day, and that there would be privileges if we agreed. Joel got nervous when they said we all had to speak, but I shushed him by asking him how much the Transformers Ride was worth to him(One of the privileges would be we get to enter the place first, woohoo!), and besides, how many people would ever get this sort of experience?

..Dad messed up eventually. XD He was so eager about it, he forgot he had to introduce himself!

But anyways, besides getting to enter first, we were given a free photo taken with Po, and(the BEST surprise of all) a bunch of express passes to jump queue of any ride we wanted and go straight to the front! :DD Now, how awesome is that?

Anyways, we declared the gates opened....

.. and headed straight for this.

Oh yes, it was a time to be kiasu, indeed. And so worth it. :)

That ride was AWESOME. It's so awesome, I can't even describe it. We made sure to make full use of the express passes.... going on the ride three times. Ohyeahnowwho'sboss? :D

Joel and Camaro.

Family photo with Evac.

I thought at first it was Optimus Prime, but Joel pointed out that it was the robot that we were supposed to be fighting with during the ride itself. We were his 'recruits' and were taken on a wild ride through Devastator's mouth and insides, along a street race with Bonecrusher and Sideswipe, flung through the air and into a building by (I think)Starscream.... I think I'm giving everything away.

It was awesome. End of story, before I start telling it all over again.

Grabbed some shots of the architecture around U.S.S. I especially loved New York and Hollywood; they were amazing. I felt like I was in a dream.

Walk of Fame.

They were mostly of all the old celebrities that only my mom knew about. Vincent Price was one of only a few I actually recognized; the others just made blank spaces in my memory. LOL.

Deh Lion. :D

....

... okay, so maybe I've become a bit of a poser. I couldn't help myself. SORRY.

However, I did love those crazy hats. They were pretty cool :D I chose the kookiest one and grabbed a quick shot of it before we got left behind by my brother and dad. Hah!

(Also, I only realized that the hat was actually meant for a guy to wear when I checked back on the photos later. Ultimate FAIL.)

CA.MA.RO.

If I was a gold digger; I'd marry a rich old man and get him to buy me this, complete with the Autobot insignia emblazoned on the side like this one.

Unfortunately for my Camaro dreams, I don't believe in gold diggers. I'd rather die than marry some filthy, aging, wrinkly old man with pocketfuls of money he doesn't know what to do with them and goes and falls for some sweet-talking young girl whose eyes only light up with dollar signs. Yep, giving a jab at all those gold diggers out there. They need a life. Seriously, material stuff over emotional needs? No thanks. :S

Bumblebee!

.. in 'human' form, of course. Joel got very peeved because the guy in charge cut us off from the queue and despite Dad trying to reason with him, he would not let us take photos with him. I just shrugged because I wasn't much into taking shots with Bumblebee, as much as I love Transformers, but Joel and Dad were pretty mad. Pity, they had to settle for this one instead. XD

Old-school glamor alright.

CARS! :D

I loved those vintage cars they put on display. LOVED THEM.

They were so quaint and cute and old-school! I spared no camera-taking when it came to this. For the first time in my life, cars became the centre of my attention. XD

We walked around for hours, sitting on rides, eating, going on more rides, exploring the different 'worlds', going to the bathroom, exploring different shops, resting.... it was endless.

I kept going back to Hollywood and New York, because it was awesome. I didn't much like Far Far Away, the place was too... fairy-like in a very odd, weird way. Like, I do like fairytales indeed(I grew up with Snow White and Cinderella etc etc), but I find the Shrek franchise gross. It just doesn't appeal to me. They've ripped the authenticity and classicism that the Disney fairytales have. It's not the same as Disneyland. I'd prolly feel magical in Disneyland, but till I go there someday, I suppose Far Far Away with its weird castle and bricks would have to be my closest memory.

I LOATHED Madagascar. Oh my gosh, that place was like a zoo. Well, ironically indeed, I know. Lets see, it was hot, chaotic, noisy, suffocating, uninteresting, full of kids and families with prams, had more merchandise and food stalls than rides, and all the rides were for kids anyway. Yup, so amusing. Indeed.

The Lost World? ... it felt odd. Weird. Uncomfortable. I love dinosaurs, but the place just felt a little too plastic for me. All kids' rides and water fountains spurting out of stone dinosaur eggs, and a weird man walking around with his triceratops puppet and people going around it cooing as if it were real(I mean, seriously, come on, even the kids weren't falling for it). Sheesh, even my mom was going with the game and going all ga-ga with the baby triceratops. I felt mildly embarrassed.

That's a lie. I was VERY embarrassed.

As for Ancient Egypt..... urgh. That was a creepy place D: Me no like it. Nope nope nope. The atmosphere and music that played throughout coupled with the architecture just sent chills and shudders up my spine and through my skin and made the hair on my head stand. It was not an enjoyable place to be; I'd prefer to be Far Far Away or even put up with wild animals in Madagascar, then stay in Ancient Egypt.

Oh and one more thing. That Mummy Ride was freaky. It freaked me out so much, the effects were enough to give me nightmares. *SHUDDER* Thinking of the special effects right now is already making my skin crawl with fear.

That's why, when in doubt, go back to HOLLYWOOD! :D

OHYEAHWHOSEGOTTHISNOW?

We found the little cinematic shop that sold quaint little film stuff. There was a whole collection of golden Oscar statuettes declaring several titles like the one above. Hrhrhr...

I'm very surprised my baby brother is suddenly so coy about this; but letting me grab a shot of it. Well, who knows his main motive. Either ways...

..nope, can't beat the boss!

Baby golden statuettes.

Those declared us Best Son and Best Daughter. I badly wanted Best Grandma but there wasn't one for that size. We posed with them cause we didn't want to buy them, and hence sealed them as photographic memories. WOOTS.

And after that..? Well, since there were more express passes...

Grabbed this while on the express lane en route to an(other) epic journey aboard the Transformers Ride.

Optimus Prime, I salute you. :DD

Oh, that ride. I would go on it a million times, but by the third time with Joel, I came out nursing a major headache. Maybe it was the lack of food due to my survival on mainly Milo and a few nibbles here and there all day, or the constant shaking and rolling of the ride. But it was worth it. Every little bit of it.

Resting time( and posing time, of course, for a vain peacock that was me).

That was after we went for a Waterworld showcase, and was waiting for the Rock Musical to start. Pretty awesome shows, they both were. The water stage tempted me so, and gave me ideas about designing my future play in Theater Arts, then I remembered that I was gonna drop IB T.T *Sob*

The musical thing was rather cute. XD Frankenstein loves chicken rice!

Dad.

On the phone. XD Mom urged me to grab that shot, because he was just with his phone all day with clients. He never leaves work alone; his job is waaaay too important. You know, for a man with so many things on his mind, he sure does know how to pose with the lamp post.

Bottom line: I have a photogenic dad. XD

Even hidden cameras can't break that.

Seriously, my father smiles on rollercoasters, when everyone else has tragically traumatized screaming faces. Everyone asked why my dad looked so calm; heck, I asked him that the moment the ride was over and we saw the photo. And all he did was shrug.

Nice job, Dad.

NO FEAR. :D

Anyways, to end our rather eventful day out at U.S.S, we finally crawled into a taxi after spending literally ten hours in there. Well, I was basically dragging myself because I wasn't okay after the final Transformers Ride, and my head was spinning all the way during the journey from U.S.S to Lucky Plaza. I couldn't manage any dinner, which was a first considering a pig like me who can't live two hours without food. IKNOWRIGHT? I too was in shock.

That's a new idea though. Next time when wanting to lose weight, just give me nausea attacks and headaches; I'll stop eating. XD

HMMMMM....

..holidays are coming to an end. T.T

Goodbye, freedom. College starts all over again in January.

Peace out. ;D

Merry Christmas

2011-12-26T02:42:00.003+08:00

I'm late. As usuaaaaaal. :P

But anyways. Without further delay.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE. ;D

God bless the whole bunch of people whom I love to bits and pieces!

This has been... the best Christmas I've had in my life. Never before have I celebrated Christmas this way, and I've never had more fun since the last ten years or so. But anyways, this Christmas has always been about others to me. And this post is dedicated to the people who mean the world to me; whom God has so generously blessed me with.

Mom and Dad

I love you guys. For being my parents. Not the perfect parents, but you have been awesome parents to all of us four kids. Thank you for all the love and sacrifices you have lavished upon us. And hey look, I've managed to capture a photo of Daddy smiling! :D

Joel

He may not know or realize it, but I love my baby brother to pieces. This year has truly brought us closer as siblings in many unexpected ways, and I have never once regretted that. In these growing years, we are learning to slowly rely on one another; and that is truly a blessing. He is trustworthy, faithful, patient, understanding, and every bit as annoying as any little brother can be, but he has indeed grown into a wonderful young man. God bless you, baby bro. :D

Steph and Tim

Ahhhh! What would I do without my Kor and Che? Steph, for being my awesome awesome big sister who shares my annoying common habits, and for dishing out the advice that every little sister requires in this stage of her life. Kor, for breaking out of his shell and becoming my friend, becoming my brother. For making the effort to fix our relationship despite the stale past years which saw us more as strangers than siblings. For finally changing his ways, for accepting the willingness to change, for finally becoming someone I can call my older brother. Thank you Lord for the work you have done that has blessed my siblings and I. Thank you for bringing us closer as a family, for fixing our relationships, for giving me a friend in the form of my older brother.

My second family;

These are the people whom I met this year after joining Younified. And I've never looked back since. They have been nothing but a blessing to me, and have influenced me in ways I could never have imagined. They are the living examples of what God's amazing love can do in one's life.

Esther Marie

Esther Square! :DD She is my sister in Christ, and my awesome partner in crime(albeit the same name). She is understanding, sweet, nonjudgmental, patient, kind, and overall an angel who loves Jesus more than anything else. She was the last person I expected to grow close to, but God does have His strange ways. An amazing, amazing friend. Love you loads!

My Younified members!

(I just chose this photo but it technically represents everyone else I know but are not in it. HEH.)

For granting me the fun I've never had, for showing me the love of God, and for being my second family whom I love and cherish time with.

Theresa;

My sister in Christ and my sister always! For giving out the best advice, for being a patient and most understanding person I've ever met, for being there for me when I needed a friend, for being there for me when I had troubles and needed to confide in someone. You go girl. ;) Stay the way you are!

Chris

Yep, him too. Despite all his Fabio-ness and "Nope, just Chuck Testa." shootbacks which drive me crazy, he is truly an awesome(can I add immature in reference to the above pic? :D ) sort-of brother-friend-frenemy. Lesse..what's so memorable about him...hrmm... ahh. The glares. The hair-whipping. The jab attacks that drive him mad(with laughter). His 'cool' persona. His vanity. His love of camwhoring. His high opinion of himself. His sarcasm. His awkward silence. And most of all, the annoying influence he has on Joel.

Yes, that's Chris for you. So Merry *jab* Christmas to you, Christopher Drew Howard. :D Oh wait, what? You don't like me revealing your middle name..?

".. nope. Just Chuck Testa. "

Matthew

Festive season calls for retarded photos. XD I'm sorry Matthew!

But you are awesome. You cook AMAZING. Your talent in music is... indescribable. The patience and understanding you exude is enough to make even a complete stranger trust you. Thanks for the arguments, disagreements, debates and fights that I had with you. They were funny, and made me laugh. Yes, despite all the HARASSMENT. Oh, and thank you for being my punching bag! :D And also for being a huggable teddy bear. Thanks for the jokes and humor, for the laughs you've provided. You've done plenty in your few months here; more than enough to impact everyone else including me.

Danny and Sam

Mah brothers. :DD I've never had so many brothers and sisters in my life! God bless you guys. For being annoying, for making me laugh, for the advice, for the trust that you both hold.

--Doesn't mean I'm not going to throw pie in your faces one day. Watch out. Sisters are meaaaaan. You don't mess with da girls! XD

But more than anything else.

Adrian.

There are just some people in your life who you just have nothing to say, because there's so much to say, and yet nothing will come out. Because these sort of people are special, indescribable, and so incredibly so that they leave you speechless. That there is just no way to put into words the joy and happiness they have brought into your life, and the beautiful experiences that have been nothing but the peaks of my year. For being one of the best people that have ever entered my life. For drawing me out of a very dark place, for showing and guiding me slowly into a world where things are brighter, happier, lighter.

AJ/Remy/Adrian;

You are that person.

God has never sent a blessing that I have treasured more deeply.

So this Christmas, I owe it to Him, for all the joy He has provided for me. Through you.

You are truly precious. Thank you, Lord.

Jesus.

Dear Lord,

This year has been nothing but a year of new beginnings. I fail You every day Lord, but yet You still lavish such happiness in my life, these people whom You sent to bring me up. Thanks Lord for coming to Earth, trapping Yourself in a human form, and suffering all that pain and hurt just so we could be saved. Lord, I don't understand. I do not understand how the shedding of Your blood and Your resurrection somehow was able to save us humans. I still don't get it; I'm still confused at times. But I do know the suffering You've been put through, and You did it all for us. Us humans who do not deserve it, but yet God, You refuse to forsake us. You could've just destroyed everything, Earth and all, and start anew. Start a new creation, a new being, that would be perfect and error-free. Then there wouldn't be all these problems. But You didn't, Lord. Why? Are we humans that worth it?

Apparently, we are. And nothing I do can ever make up for the sacrifice You made in exchange for my life.

No form of celebration, no matter how grand, can truly give gratitude to the true meaning of Christmas. So, this Christmas, thank you for the wonderful time I had. Thank you for my renewed family relationships, for my new brothers and sisters I have been granted with, for the supportive friends and mentors, and lastly, for the best Gift You've ever gotten me.

Thank you for bringing me Home once more.

Happy birthday, Lord.

You are the reason to why Christmas is Christmas;

All praise and glory to Your name! :)

Lots of love;

your daughter,

Esther.

Vacated

2011-12-19T09:08:00.002+08:00

VACATED

... okay not really. Just, I'm temporarily vacating to Singapore. For four days. YEAHYOUHEARDME.

All my life I've known and met people who treat Singapore like their second home. And when they start talking about it, I go like, "Huhwhut?" with that blur expression on my face and they go all wide-eyed and say "WHAT..? You haven't been to....?" and I'll be like, "yeah" and hang my head in shame.

Lol, kidding XD. I've never been ashamed of never visiting Singapore before. We've always preferred beach holidays that allow us to unwind... oh, I miss Langkawi already T.T. *SOB*

But, anyways, this year Joel and I(yupwekidsrulethehousewoots) decided to go with my dad's suggestion of Singapore, since we've not been there before and a change would be nice too. Oh, and also because monsoon season has hit, so most beach destinations will have a no-swim flag on, and it might pour with rain incessantly. BUT, given a choice, I would obviously prefer sunshine, sand, and surf.. who wouldn't, come on. The blazing hot sunshine pouring its rays down on us generously, kissing our skin a nice brown tan. Well, sometimes, it can get too generous and our skin starts feeling a little itchy. Like how once, my face felt incredibly tender after a whole day out in the sun and I didn't bother to put extra lotion on. Sunkissed? Yes. Sunburnt..? Nope. :DD

Yeah I'm making a jab at you right now, AJ. You and the cream-skinned Fabio. You get me there, Fabio? All that hair-whipping ain't gonna protect you from getting a roasting from the sun! Harharharharharhar. XD

AJ is cream-skinned too. Except, he's more like, moon-skinned, or something. Okay that did not make sense... but I couldn't think of anything whiter than a moon's surface. Except, the moon is gray. And on full moon nights it's daffodil yellow. *facepalm* FAIL. I'll...figure something out later. When I've discovered something whiter and more fragile than cream, or something. Yep, that's how well I treat my white friends.

... or, more like, how I treat a particular white friend. :P

ANYWAYS. I'm rambling again. We're supposed to be leaving at 10, and here I am at 9 o'clock blogging like a boss(hey, alliteration! YEAAA), cause I haven't blogged for days anyway. And I have time to sleep in the car on our five-hour journey there. Sooo excited to finally be going on vacation, though everyone has been going to Singapore lately during this Christmas holidays. For all you know, I might bump into a whole bunch of people at Universal Studios.

And now... I better be off. Stuff's all packed, but I still have to go get ready. And as usual, I take forever.

Happy holidays, people. :)

Tis the season to be jolly...!

Blink

2011-12-13T00:38:00.002+08:00

BLINK

... and you'll miss it.

Twisted

2011-12-12T02:37:00.001+08:00

TWISTED

EUPHORIA:

NOUN

[Mass noun]

A feeling or state of intense excitement and happiness.

Reminisce

2011-12-10T23:36:00.001+08:00

REMINISCE

The farmer asked, "Baa Baa black sheep have you any wool?"

And the Little Black Sheep answered, "Yes Sir, Yes Sir, Three bags full."

Time

2011-12-09T00:22:00.001+08:00

TIME

10 hours.

59 hours.

5 days.

10 days.

Wooo.... holidays, where have you been?

Peace out :D

On Hold

2011-12-07T18:22:00.001+08:00

ON HOLD

It's difficult to contemplate what my future holds, and letting God take control of it. I mean, I know He has a plan for me and all and whatever it is it will be the best for me--- but I still have awful trust issues. Being reliant on nobody but myself the past few years has its downsides, it seems.

Mom has tried to tell me over and over again not to look back on the past; that I should move forward, and let go of all that has happened before that is 'holding me in bondage'. Every morning at the breakfast table before I got ready for the day's exam, we both discussed thoroughly what I should do. Actually, not so much as 'what I should do', that would just be me. Mom repeatedly told me to switch courses from IB to CPU, and detailed why so in in-depth detail. Yesterday, she showed me an article she abruptly found in the Christian magazine she subscribes to, which talked about letting go and letting God take control, walking in faith, and most of all, not to worry and plan so much for our future because that would be shunning God's plan and taking your own path without Him. She'd been discussing this with me for the few days since Sunday, and told me that I just had to let go of my 'perfectionist' self and not worry about the sort of preparations that I should do for university, because that was all I was worried about. She told me to trust God, and take this leap of faith, and that she felt like God is putting it on her to tell me that I should make this decision.

It's drastic, I tell myself. One semester and I drop out and change courses? I felt sad at the thought of leaving my campus behind; the Starbucks trips, the casual walks with classmates around Plaza Damas, the relaxed, urban surroundings. I would miss the few awesome friends I made; and even those who annoyed me at times, because I would never again be part of the IB family. I don't want to leave them behind; Kazuki and her meows that get me laughing every time, Sai Men and his crazy antics and random sayings that get me cracked up; Lysa and Sai who give support and guidance when I'm lost. Even the ones I'm not particularly close to such as Rohan( his everyday battle with the Maths teacher over numbers and his unshuttable mouth) , Ian and Abhishek(the smart ones who help you whenever they can). I am mostly pained at leaving behind Ms Val, Ms Navina and Ms Sujata, and even Mr Boon. It breaks my heart to leave behind Theatre and English, and even though I have no love for business, I love Ms Sujata. And Mr Boon... oh my. The best memory of my TOK lecturer ever.

"Mr Boon, do you have any kids?"

"Dimitri, why are you asking Mr Boon such a question?"

"Oh I just wanted to know. So, Mr Boon, do you have any kids?"

"Well.... "

"Do you plan to have any?"

"......Who knows. I might have kids that I am unaware of myself."

The class burst into utmost chaos with the laughter that ensued. The usually boring TOK lesson in the morning became lively for once, because it was unlike the proper Mr Boon to randomly say such...erm.... stuff. And Sai Men only made me laugh more when he yelled out amidst the laughter, "SEE! SEE! I WAS RIGHT! TEACHER BY DAY, PLAYBOY BY NIGHT!"

Its memories like these that are keeping me from leaving. Memories of entering the GEN-Y and seeing it occupied to the fullest with male students....playing Counter Strike. And Mr Josh, my appointed IB mentor whom I'm forever afraid of, and running away when he comes by. He awes and intrigues me at the same time; he's an awesome and a very nice person, but for some reason he terrifies me. Coupled with the fact I can't help but think of Kazuki whenever I see him makes it even harder for me to not laugh when I encounter him on campus.

But I'm getting off-track here. The point is, I don't have that courage to leave IB although Mom and Steph have urged me to. Part of me wants to, another part is refusing to let go. What if this isn't God's plan? What if IB makes me a better person? What if..what if. But, I should stop worrying. I'm still trying to stop. My perfectionist self is a terrible habit; I'm always trying to prove to myself that I can do better things, prove to others that I am capable of anything. But at what cost? I won't have time for my youth friends, I won't have time for my family or catching up with high school buddies. I might not even have time for Youth or church due to my CAS activities. I might not have time for Adrian.

Is it too selfish to choose my social life over what I presume to be a better chance of education? I know putting God first is most important, but I'm pretty sure I would still be able to make it for church every Sunday. Maybe not Youth though, if the workload increases like crazy. But cutting myself off from the friends I have there-- that was what started me thinking about this. All the stress and all..it would isolate me. And the friends I have at college, they're good people but we are too unequally yolk due to their liberal sense of thinking.

Is it worth it? At times, I think so. Other times, no.

But I'm ranting here, again. Another long essay, oh gosh. Right after Mom complained that I talk too much and should shut up(again). Oh well. I believe God will lead me to the right choice.

That is; if I even ever do trust Him.

Sprinkled

2011-12-06T02:36:00.001+08:00

SPRINKLED

"It's one thing to have someone like you back, it's a whole different meaning when you know that person really truly cares for you the way no one's ever done before."

Hm. Wise words from a certain someone. I believe that was the wisest thing I've ever heard that person say.

(I should actually not be up at this time blogging when I have math exam tomorrow. Just done revising. Oh well. If I die, I die. Whoopees. )

Stories

2011-12-04T02:04:00.001+08:00

STORIES

I enjoy writing stories from time to time. Non-fiction stories, I mean. Beware, whoever is reading this now. Know that below is a 5000word essay that will drive you mad. So, jump away from this page now, or forever regret your decision. Yours truly.

"Maybe I'm a dreamer, but I still believe."

-Bon Jovi

You know, I never quite understood the meaning of that particular lyric from their song, not till recently. And somehow or other while I loved that song and listened to it, I never appeared to me that it was trying to tell me something, I just didn't know what. When I got tired of it and put it on the songs-I-used-to-love-but-now-is-so-yesterday's-mail list(which amounts to hundreds, cough), that phrase still remained in my head, and I always thought of it at times when I was randomly daydreaming or merely thinking about quotes that meant a lot to me. Yes, if you used to know me, I was a lot of things I know now I shouldn't have become. I was reflecting back yesterday on who I used to be, and the things I said and did, and how it actually shaped me into a person that was just.... messed up. I didn't think I was messed up, but I was blind.

God showed me what I was missing. He showed me that love was the greatest thing any human could have, to receive, and most of all, to believe in. He wanted to show me that he still loves me and that He hadn't forgotten me although I was lost and confused and indirectly knew I was going down the drain in my spiritual life. He showed me what His love could do, what it could bring, and how unconditional it is, and that I never needed to earn it; it was always there and will always be there.

I was messed up. Maybe people won't believe me; but then I hid a lot of myself. Did anyone ever knew what sort of music I listened to? Yes, people know I loved Nickelback, I loved Linkin Park, I loved hard, alternative, loud rock. I still do, but to a certain extent. For me, it was the lyrics that counted most; and it was these words that etched in my head that took me down the wrong turning. To me, it was cool. I liked being different. I hated being like everyone else. Everyone else was stupid, ignorant, lame, close-minded, generic. They were all the same. I was different, a blue fish amongst the yellows, I didn't fit in with anyone and nobody cared about me. I liked it that way, to have people not accept me because I was different, or maybe weirder or something. But who was I trying to kid? I hated it. I hated the fact I couldn't fit in with anyone, I felt like a fish out of the water, I didn't know why I was this way and I kept hating myself because I thought there was something wrong with me. Wasn't there something wrong with me? What am I doing wrong that I should deserve this? I hated the world, hated the people who were in it. Everything they did or liked were silly, I ridiculed everything from couples to close sibling-like friendships amongst others... to me they were generic, stupid, overly and unnecessarily sentimental, childish, annoying, and lame. Yes, I ridiculed.

Deep inside I knew. All I wanted was to be part of this. I never knew what it felt like to have close friends watch over you, and mean ever so dear to them. I didn't know what it felt like to mean something to someone. I had friends, but we'd hit a rough patch due to immaturity on our parts(mmhmm, remembered how that went) and it made me feel worse. It made me feel even more worthless, it cemented my belief that all I did was annoy and anger people, that there was indeed something wrong with me and I needed to change. I felt hate coming at me from all sides, pulling me into this whirlpool of darkness in which I would slowly drown myself in. There was nothing to hold on, no one to hold me up, no one to support me. I let go of my last bane of support after it failed to comfort me; instead, it just stirred up more hatred in me. It made me feel like I was undeserving of any kind of affection in this world, and I was destined to stay that way.

I hate feeling sorry for myself. I didn't want to go all emo and start carving 'nobody loves me' in large sad letters on wooden tables. I hated the thought of people thinking that this girl is all pathetic and sad due to loneliness, I didn't want that image of me showing up. And there was only one way to stop myself from doing so. I drew upon my hate, I told myself to be strong and show the rest you are fine, that you are okay, the once college starts it will be a whole different thing. That you'll be better than the rest.

"FINE." I'd tell myself. "Fine." "Let others do what they want. I'll deal with this.. I don't need them. I don't need anyone. I'm okay like this. So what if others do this to me, treat me this way? Deal with it."

There was no way but to be hard on myself.

I fueled these feelings by blasting my ears with Linkin Park songs, at least the loud screamy ones that pumped the adrenaline in my blood. There were about six songs that truly became a part of me, slowly and silently creeping into my mind. Everyday, Given Up was played about ten times or so, Crawling, In The End, One Step Closer, Bleed It Out were the other songs that kept me cheerful and happy, but unknowingly pumping me with even more hate. I thought these feelings would make me stronger and tougher emotionally. I was sick of the whole circus that was going on, people throwing fruits and eggs at me no matter how hard I try. It was never going to end; I just had to accept it and deal with it.

There were times when things got too rough, and I had another two LP songs that gave me comfort. These weren't the loud yelling ones, instead they were slower, and the lyrics spoke to me more than anything at that time. "From The Inside" was like my, themesong or something for months. Every word and lyric that shaped it spoke all the hidden feelings and the depression I was going through. But because I was too ashamed to tell anyone, I listened to it constantly instead. It was the only thing that understood me; the only thing that would listen to my pain..the only source of comfort that saw me and what I was going through, and didn't ridicule me for it. I was ashamed of what I was feeling...I felt I must never let it show or tell anyone because there was no one there to listen, and if I told someone, I only knew what I was going to get: Blame. I already accepted that belief that I am to blame for this, but I couldn't bear to hear it from someone else. I didn't need to hear it, I didn't want to hear it. I was frustrated, torn between my need for an understanding support which I could not find, and telling myself that this, this is my fault, it is of my own doing and that I must pay for it. That I deserve this, and don't you dare allow any self-pity, do you want everyone to laugh and make fun of you? I told myself that over and over again, and that made me hide everything inside, and listen to the songs, and I thought I was okay. I buried everything in a dark hatchet somewhere deep within me, and thought they'd be forgotten soon enough....... and the rest, is another long, long, loooooooong story. XD

Who wants to know about my super-long emotional past anyway. Nobody likes sad stories. I had a pathetic past, don't you think? But now that I'm out of it, I'm proud I made those mistakes. I would never have known then, what I did wrong. And now I do. Thanks to God. He gets allll the credit for what He has done for me; there's nothing compared to all the joy I've found, and all the truth I've discovered.

You saw what I needed, Lord, and You gave it all for me, even though I didn't deserve it. Thank you for being my loving Father... help me trust in You, again, forever, and always.

Nights. Peace out. :)

(Having a headache yet? Told you so. Not to read this. Your fault. LOL.)

Unforgettable

2011-12-01T23:30:00.001+08:00

UNFORGETTABLE

I remember when...

I made myself look like a stuffed gray turkey in Fraser's Hill.

Warm? Yes. Fat? Yes sir. Regret? Never.

Found

2011-11-29T22:00:00.001+08:00

FOUND

"I promised to show you just how much I love you

You will be waiting for the answer, though I have already put it in you

Surprise will not be there, when I compel you to turn around

To see what I have done, you will therefore be found."

This one is for You, Lord.

At times when I am stressed out, worried, and frazzled with so much to do,

I think of what You've done, it helps me trust in You.

I know you understand. You always do.

Found

2011-11-26T23:51:00.001+08:00

I'm home.

To You:

You found me.

To you:

You found me.

Merrymaking

2011-11-24T02:16:00.001+08:00

MERRYMAKING

Going off to my first youth camp in a few hours(What am I doing still awake?).

Fraser's Hill. In November. Fantastic.

16 degrees, Esther Marie said. I am beginning to doubt the clothes I packed are going to keep my warm. :S

Also, I am suffering from a slight cold and a dry throat... the last place I should be heading to is some chilly hillside resort where I have the potential to turn into an icicle. I stuffed myself yesterday and today with garlic pills, and the sneezing and sniffing subsided, but my throat is still dry, and dry it will remain. I'm thinking of mixing a diluted honey solution again to bring along with me, like I did for class today. I'm thankful though, that its not a sore throat. Sore throats are HORRIBLE. They hurt, you can't talk, and you can't eat. D: At least with a dry throat it doesn't hurt too bad, and I can still talk as much as I want(though I spoke with an odd tune similar to a croaking toad during theater class today). Oh well. Plenty of time tomorrow morning. *cough*

Still, I look forward to having a blast of a time :)). I've been looking forward to it for a really long time, and I can't wait to spend an awesome time with all my best buddies. And also...to spend time with God. I must never ever forget our main goal of the camp; and that's to get closer to the Lord. And I need that right now.

Peace out.

War

2011-11-22T18:29:00.001+08:00

WAR

... turns out, our internet did get the medical attention it needed after all. Oh my drug. What would I do without you.

Aaaanyways.... just wanted to record some random conversation I had with my mom about a certain situation when I got home.

Me: *Enters bathroom. Spots the little devil crouching on the tank top.*

* Withholds intense panic attack within my chest*

"Mom?"

"What?"

"Can you please come kill that bug in the bathroom?"

*Sighing. Footsteps.*

*(WHACK. WHACK. WHACK)*

*Footsteps*

"... is it dead?"

"Yes lah, si liao lah! Anie kia cho hami, that was so easy. It's just a cockroach!"

"THAT COCKROACH GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK LAST NIGHT AT 3AM IN THE MORNING AND I TRIED TO KILL IT BUT IT SOMEHOW EVADED ME AND I COULDN'T FIND IT THAT NIGHT AND THIS MORNING IT WAS ON THE CEILING AND WHEN I CAME BACK IT WAS STILL ALIVE OHMYGOSH I HATE COCKROACHES I HATE THEM I HATE COCKROACHES."

"Oh but it came down right? It was on the tank top. All you had to do was just squash it with something heavy."

"It was a cockroach." *Shudder*

"Aiya, it's just a cockroach. Now, if it were a snake...."

".... I'll be the first one in the bathroom to try and catch it."

Let's face it. I have an intense fear of cockroaches. 3AM in the morning, that was a nasty, nasty, surprise and I refused to use to bathroom in my room. Don't even ask where it was hiding. And I'm serious about the snake. I almost caught this baby green garden snake that our cat brought in when I was about ten, but my mom started shrieking and pulled me into the house before ordering my brother to get rid of it. I was that close to actually catching it in my palms.. darn. I love snakes. Mom hates them. She fears them. Its the one thing she can't stand in life, aside from heights. But heights are avoidable. Snakes, like cockroaches, are not. And, come to think about it, I would have liked a snake to come into my bathroom at that moment so it could eat that freaking bugger that's terrorizing my territory. Cockroaches: They're EVIL. Evil, evil, cursed creatures. Yet, so indestructible. *SHUDDER*

DEATH TO ALL COCKROACHES.

Last night's invasion was the last straw. I am now going for battle. War has been declared.

No Internet

2011-11-22T15:32:00.001+08:00

DRUGGED

Sometimes, I think we're too reliant on technology, and too hooked on the internet. People work twice as hard to fight drug abuse, drug smuggling, drug trafficking, etc., but the biggest, most addictive, and yet most problematic drug is the internet. Practically 90% of the world is hooked on it, or can't live without it. I'm not gonna lie; that 90% includes me too. We're all internet junkies. We go through withdrawal symptoms when the presence of internet ceases even for a few hours. We become cold turkeys.

Last night, our internet failed. AGAIN. I switched it on after I returned from class, and after a few hours on the usual Facebook and college portal and world news and typing out my self-evaluation for the Terry Fox Run volunteering and skype, I took a dash for a quick nap. Waking up about an hour and a half later, I came out of my room and discovered the inevitable: the yellow light on the modem was blinking. Yes. BLINKING. Can you believe that? It worked perfectly fine the whole evening, and it wasn't even raining, and I take some forty(okay maybe multiply that by a hundred) winks and it just goes haywire! I left it as it was thinking it would sort itself out(our internet has a mind of its own; it tends to have bad hair days like humans, apparently), but when it didn't, and I needed to do work, Dad and Kor tried to fix it.

Obviously, they were unsuccessful. Despite all their best efforts(Dad was even on the phone with some maintenance lady from the internet people), I just somehow knew I wasn't gonna be accessing anything on the internet that night. And I was right. I've known my internet far too well; and judging by its history, it has a stubborn, stubborn character.

See what I mean? We're so wrapped up with internet, we can't live with it for one night. We practically treat it like family, sometimes better than family. When its sick, we rush to get it medical assistance. We unplug it to make sure it doesn't get fried by lightning during thunderstorms. We have it on all day sometimes. We communicate with it without fail..every. single. day. Hm. I think we treat the internet better than our family members. *Guilty confession*

Anyways, to cut the long story short(and also cause I'm rushing to go home cause I'm hungry but I wanna post this first while I'm at college where internet is existent just in case I go home and our internet is still on holiday or something), our internet is...still dead. I have a feeling its not gonna be up when I reach home, so I'm typing this out in the computer lab in school, just to remind myself that sometimes, you can live without the internet.

If I'm lucky Dad got it fixed while I was having classes. If not...then I'll have to find ways to entertain myself. Although these days I'm not suppose to be doing anything but studying. Okay I'm rambling now. It's nearly 4pm. Gotta rush home before the jam starts.... adios amigos! :DD

(ALSO I'M SUPER HAPPY BECAUSE THERE'S NO BIO TEST TOMORROW AND I DON'T HAVE TO STUDY TONIGHT I CAN FINISH MY THEATRE AND THEN LOOK FORWARD TO CAMP HURRAHHHH)

(...... that's the last time I'm eating Subway cookies. )

Ciao.

Sights

2011-11-19T01:58:00.001+08:00

SIGHTS

White and cream.

Indeed, Esther, indeed.

Aches

2011-11-15T11:10:00.001+08:00

ACHES

You're prolly not gonna read this ever, but you should know something.

YOU ARE AWESOME.

How dare you say you're not good enough? How dare you think you don't mean much to your brothers or friends or loved ones? How could you lie to yourself and bring yourself down like that? D:
We love you Matthew. God loves you. That's why He's given us someone as special as you in our lives. Because we needed someone like you; to bring us up when we are down, to bring us down if we are too high up, to encourage us in the ways of the Lord, to be the light of the party, to cheer us up, to cook us awesomely delicious food(I'll never forget that), and most of all, to be the older brother I never had.

Yep. You heard me. Well, not yet obviously. One day, perhaps, I'll get to tell you. But it does kill me to think that someone like you would have such depressing thoughts, worst of all about himself. We are all human, it is true; Satan always tries to put doubts and worries in your head, but it doesn't mean you cannot overcome them. I am in no position to do much, but I shall pray for you. I shall pray that you see what a blessing you truly are; and what an amazing brother you are to AJ, I shall pray that you see yourself as you truly are--- humble, honest, lovable, funny, protective, loving, cheery, strong, sensible, talented, smart ...and many other characteristics which I do not know of.

I hate to see you bring yourself down; but I can always understand that. I do that all the time to myself... I never think I am good enough and see the faults in myself instead and focus on them even when others try to tell me otherwise. So, you are not alone. You shall pull through this. I know you will... because nobody is going to let you do this to yourself. I certainly won't.. and I've only known you for like what, three months? See, that's how much of an impact you have. I trust you more than people I've known for years. :P

Maybe one day when I've gained your trust, I can drill it into your head so those horrible thoughts get pushed out. Imma shake it into you so stop getting upset. If that's what it takes, because we all hate to see you like this, and it upsets everyone who cares for you.
So cheer up :). Stop thinking so lowly of yourself. You are blessed, and you are a blessing to others.
Thankyou for being the awesome big bro I needed my whole life! :DD

Peace out.

Gone

2011-11-15T03:18:00.001+08:00

GONE

You will be missed dearly.

Thank you for being the best ever math teacher I've ever had in my life. Thank you for your enduring patience, your endless dedication, your genuine commitment to the future of the current younger generation. Thank you for the wonderfully tough love you had for every single student in school, regardless of who we were and your unblemished perception of us cheeky boys and girls despite all the wrongs we commit in school. Thank you for your nonjudgmental views and your ability to see beyond a student's problems and instead see the potential to be utilized, be it to become someone better or someone great. Thank you for your amazing encouragement that has been the bane of support for all the nervous students experiencing pre-exam jitters during our major examinations. Thank you for your constant intimidating presence that stalked the school with the rotan by your side. Thank you for the warnings, the jokes, the discipline that made us who we are today.

But most of all, thank you for making our high school experience a memorable one. You were loved deeply by all; you will continue to be loved in our memories forever in return for all the sacrifices you have made.

I am proud and honored to have been one of those under your personal tutoring. I am thankful, and I am blessed. After all, if it hadn't been for you, there was no way I'd be able to understand Math! :')

Rest in peace, Mr Ang Tun Seng.

You were the invisible blessing to the hundreds, maybe thousands, of students that came and went since the establishment of SMK Subang Utama. We love you, we miss you, and a part of you will always remain in us students whom you've made an incredible impact on.

Even till your last breath, you fought. You stayed true to what you always taught us; and that was to never give up despite how hopeless the situation seemed.

God bless your wonderful, caring, humble soul.

Sincerely;

All your crazy ex-students and students of SMKSU

Me

2011-11-12T18:40:00.001+08:00

ME?

I am tired.

I am exhausted.

I am craving for McFlurry Oreo Icecream.

I am hungry.

I am sleepy.

.....

I have to get up at 6am tomorrow.

Don't you just love my life?

Tension

2011-11-10T14:12:00.000+08:00

TENSION

..some days, I just hate college. Conflict, conflict, conflict, conflict. I'm so glad it's Thursday; two more hours of English, then home. Then, FRIDAY! :DDD

I miss all my youth members so much :( After such a socially tensioned-week all I wanna do is be around the people that I love most, that love me for who I am, that don't slap me with cutting remarks and whom I don't feel like I need to hide anything from. Thank the Lord I have you all, if it wasn't for every Friday night, my life would be unbearable with all this tension and conflict that surround me each day.

Theresa, Debbie, Adrian, Matthew, Chris, Danny.... I can't wait to see the bunch of you annoyingly lovable people tomorrow night! ;D

Oh, and Adrian, nice job there with your tests. I'm so proud of you. See, this is the part where I say I told you so. Well. I TOLD YOU SO ;D Aced with flying colors, you did. Praise the Lord! :) *dances for joy on your behalf*

*Was kidding. I don't dance. Ever. Not since that night when you made us do so.*

*Prances and frolics instead*

.. this is getting stupid. I don't know what's the matter with me lately; I've been acting crazy and not myself. Somebody knock some sense into me!

Anyways, yes, I'm very very very hua hee for you. Now get yourself back here. Miss you loads already. *COUGHIDIDNOTSAYTHATCOUGH*.

*Hides in embarassment*

....

*Leaves*

Scarred

2011-11-10T01:58:00.002+08:00

SCARRED

No, not in that sense. As in literally.

WARNING. Not for the faint-hearted.

... I'm kidding. XD

It's not that graphic-looking, just a very painful mistake that will serve to remind you to be a little more careful when you use sharp objects.

It sorta looks like a blister from here, but in reality the skin actually got ripped right off the flesh. So much so when I washed it all I saw was the white flesh beneath...before the blood began to gush.

Thank goodness for the aloe vera. If I hadn't smothered the wound with a mountain of it, my towel would've gotten drenched and I would lose a significant amount of haemoglobin. The blood attempted to squeeze out, so my knee looked kinda gross with this magnified red spot on it.

For the second time too. I ripped the skin off my finger during the class camp just recently trying to climb up a wooden wall. There was no aloe vera, and I had to crawl through mud, kayak and so on. I mean, I loved it immensely, the activities, of course, but who knew getting a bleeding finger would make things almost 10 times harder and less enjoyable? >.< People think its just a tiny thing... heck are they wrong. You may be surprised that the tiniest cuts and bruises hurt the most. In my case, it wasn't a cut.. it was a freaking section of my skin getting ripped off and I was in pain for two days.

.. why am I blogging about getting my skin ripped off? Omg, seriously, Esther, you've gone nuts. It must be the cold you have. Or the lack of sleep. Or the hour. Mad child.

In any case, scars aren't bad. They're awesome indeed. I have more than ten scars on my legs, all beautifully accumulated over the years of rough and tumble. The large ones on the knees came from a horrific bicycle crash(man, was that epic), running and falling, tripping and falling, and a whole bunch of other accidents. While most girls complain about their scars, I'm actually proud of mine. Sure, they don't look pretty, especially if you're all dressed up. Sure, guys don't relish girls with bare legs covered in marks and dark splotches. Sure, they're ways to 'lighten' the skin and get rid of the marks.

But what for? I love my scars. They're part of who I am, they display my childhood years; without them, how would I remember what I did and all I'd been through? I've heard complains over and over again from classmates who have less scars than I do, and yet fuss over how to get rid of them. I wouldn't bother with mine.

In fact, I just added another one ;). Shucks. I just counted about eleven on both legs, this might be a twelfth. Oh well. Welcome to the family.

P.S There is also a scar on my finger from when the skin got ripped off. It's healed now, but a mark remains. It's not noticeable, but I notice it all the time. Hrhrhr.

Whirlwind

2011-11-08T17:39:00.000+08:00

WHIRLWIND

It's been one rollercoaster of a weekend.

Friday, Saturday, Sunday, all filled to the brim. College, youth, birthday gathering, volunteer work. So much to do, so little time for myself. So little time for the things I want time for. In fact, barely any time at all.

Still, we all had time for an awesome person we all love on Saturday, so much so we spent the entire day with him. :)

We had waffles for lunch. Best. meal. Ever. Adrian's mom is an awesome cook. And the peanut butter..and the applesauce...and the maple syrup.. ohmygoodness. I can feel myself growing horizontal just thinking about all the food I devoured. *Sob*.

BROWNIES! :D :D :D

Those brownies are sooooo awesomely good. When I first tasted them, it was like, *quoting someone else here*, God baked them in Heaven's kitchens and sent a tray down here as a gift. Yeah, you heard me.

And the pile of shrivelled looking things there are actually waffles made without carbs and sugar, in other words, healthy options to the usual delicious treat. They actually taste awesome too. Everything tasted awesome that day. :D

(I just realized, I'm over-using the word 'awesome'. Grrrrr. Forgive me.)

What next? Hmmm.

Well. I kinda forgot it was a boys' group gathering.

Surprised? I was the only girl there(their mom aside, cause she's a woman, hehehe <.< ).

Joel went straight to the xbox, and Chris proceeded directly to his computer after lunch. How typical of younger brothers.

As for the rest?

This is the view they wake up to every single day.

I snapped that at the hall window. Ain't it gorgeous? :)

Isaac and Adrian.

Joshua was supposed to come with us, but he had something on at the last minute, so he missed out on the fun. Adrian wore that awesome blue shirt that I love( I'd die to have one of my own, but if it's a Malaysian flag on it, I'll pass thanks) :D In fact, almost everything he wears is dark blue in color. Talk about commitment to your favorite shade.

We were sipping ginger tea and crunching on some really yummy biscuits while talking away about any random thing that came to mind. Yeah, we sound like elderly folk. Only we weren't wearing dentures and sitting in wheelchairs or had minders watching our every move.

This buddy of mine here definitely did not act like an elderly man.

Joel played the xbox for nearly the whole time, till we decided to switch strategies and make it a four-player game. Joel, Isaac, Adrian...and me. I was nonchalantly handed the controller, told to get my game face on, and despite my constant protests got dragged into playing Marvel superhero characters that I've never touched before, never dreamed of playing, never wanted to play, and never expected to play before!

.. not that it was a bad thing, mind you XD. I learnt how to play the xbox! And that I suck at it!

I chose Iron Man as my character before we realized it was a mix-up and Joel got Iron Man and I was stuck with his rather lame Captain America. After a whole lot of getting lost amongst enemies and allies and getting killed, I decided to switch to Wolverine just so I could SEE where I was(Wolverine had a nice bright yellow outfit on). It worked for awhile, till the game progressed and Isaac and I began to realize that our Spider-man and Wolverine were getting more and more useless as the enemy became tougher and tougher. Not to mention Adrian emphasized our diminishing roles by switching to Magneto and literally bulldozing everyone who got in his way. I didn't even need to do any clawing around.

Finally, I got tired and switched to Human Torch. And I was like, "FINALLY. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN MY PERFECT BELOVED LITTLE FIREBALL??" I finally became useful, because I could throw fireballs from long-range, splorge pillars of flame into an enemy's face, explode into a human flame when surrounded by enemies, and(the best thing of all) if I ever lost myself on the screen, all I had to do was go 'flame on' and fly into the air like a man on fire! Hah! Beat that Magneto!

I suppose you can say it was a pretty eventful xbox session XD. I learned a lot of things. Like how an entire day can fly by in an instant when you start playing the xbox.

Dinnertime! :)

I couldn't help but sniff the gorgeous smell coming from the kitchen ;D. The soup is sooooooooooo good; sigh. And I nearly got addicted to the coleslaw, because..well... it was delicious tooo! T.T

Sorry, food person talking here. Unlike someone I know, who just doesn't eat at all.

That person is definitely not my brother, I can tell you XD.

Last thing he'll ever do is not eat. I've never known a day when he is not hungry. He outeats me any day, any time. And I'm one heck of an eater too, for a girl. ;) And proud of it!

Seriously though, I have to stop eating. If any more of these gorgeous foods turn up I am sooooo dead. Apparently, people are trying to fatten me up when I'm supposed to be downsizing, that's why I gotta resist temptations.

Board game hour: Cash Flow.

Like my red mouse and cheese? :D

This game went on forever XD. It'd been ages since I last played a board game(The Game of Life, yes), but this one was pretty interesting because it taught me how to, um, invest. Dad would've aced this game if we played it with him; him and all his business skills are no match for a simple board game! XD

Adrian's mom literally out-played the bunch of us. Even Chris, who was the lawyer and had the highest salary pay. I got a teacher(no, that is not one of my future aspirations ever), Adrian was a secretary(hrhrhrhrhr....), Joel was.. someone, and poor Isaac fared the worst as a janitor. :P

However, just before we embarked on playing rats...

.. the moment we'd all been waiting for! :D

The awesome part was, instead of the same old boring birthday cake, there were brownies and whipped cream served with chocolate-coated(Nutella, in fact) strawberries! :DDD All complete with a candle and the traditional birthday sing-along... hahaha. We're all still kids at heart, we are.

There's the birthday boy!

Enjoying his favorite food of all, chocolate-coated strawberries :D. Doesn't he look great in that pic? All smiles while impatiently waiting for me to finish taking a snapshot so he could devour his chocolate and strawberry concoction! I'd never tasted them before, so right before I did he was like, "Your life is about to be changed FOREVER." With all that drama in his voice too.You have no idea how much I LOL-ed at that statement XD.

MostawesomemouthwateringdesserteveromgI'mdroolingjustlookingatthis..

My verdict on the strawberries..? They were.... TERRIBLE. Yes, an abomination. Just kidding XD. They actually taste wonderful..but nowhere near a match to those brownies :D.

OMG THOSE BROWNIES.

They were like, baked in Heaven's kitchens by the hand of God or something. But I think I've said that already. Cut out the repetitions, Esther, seriously. I suppose you can say I feel about those brownies the way Adrian feels about his strawberries. End of story. :)

Cyclops Chris.

He was taking horribly retarded photos of me all day, so I tried to get my revenge, but he spotted me too fast and flashed his cammie up in counter-attack. It was hilarious though. I couldn't stop laughing.

Before we left, I wanted to get a group shot, so this was what we ended up with:

My bad. I forgot to set the timer, and undo the flash, and we got that by accident. I just had to put it up here; it was too funny to leave in my photo archive! :D

This is the ready shot. :)

Everyone looks awesome except me. But then I always mess up my pictures, that's why I hide my face all the time. But oh well... I had such an awesome time, I couldn't care less :D.

We left preeeeeeetty late, almost at midnight. Yup. Overstaying. In the midst of all the excitement, I'd forgotten my manners. That was the only downpart of the day(night?), and also for getting poor Isaac in trouble because he drove and followed me home in his car. So, yea, I'm sorry guys, for the trouble I caused. I should've known better, but I didn't. :(

But, anyways, we had an awesome, awesome, awesome time :)

God bless you all, everyone up there in that pic! Especially Aunty Glenda, she is soooo nice, for putting up with the lot of us kids. XD And Matthew, for being our 'slave'. Hehehe.

Party?

More like, having friends over for the day to enjoy ourselves XD.

I think its waaay better than the usual parties and celebrations I'd always gone too, big groups and all with many unknown people who ignore me.

After all, there's a first for everything right? :)

Peace. Out.

Friday Night Lights

2011-11-05T02:33:00.002+08:00

FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS

"Augh..the game of Life. The last time I played that game, I had five kids and my car got overloaded."

"Hrm. That's funny. Adrian had five kids too!"

*Bunch of giggles and snickering*

"........................."

"........................................"

*Awkward silence commences*

... I so apologize for that. I didn't mean for it to happen, and it wasn't really funny. At. All. I felt bad for you after seeing your face. Won't happen again. Promise. I won't let it. That was like, the most awkward moment, ever.

And to make up for it, I'll choose..two numbers tomorrow(well, today, I mean, but seeing as I'm writing this right after coming home and am going to sleep soon, I still consider it night though its actually early in the morning), okay? :D I can message it to you or something since I'm not coming. Or, you could get on skype and I'll send you the numbers. Deal?

Deal. There, promise made. Now, it's sleep time. Bed, where art thou?

You

2011-11-01T23:59:00.005+08:00

I meant this to be a looooooooooooong little post dedicated especially to you on your special day, but figured you'd get tired of all this... 'sweet' little things. XD

So...this is just a little something for you(again), seeing you start off your day by happily visiting my blog.

Dear AJ,

I could go on and on and on till the cows come home AND go off in the morning AND come home again, about all the silly things that we've been through, all the awkward moments, then the laughter, that led to today. You make me happy, you make me appreciate myself for who I am, you tell me that I am sweet and beautiful when I never think that way of myself, you tell me that God still loves me and will always be there for me despite all those times when I am feeling distressed.

I still find it difficult to believe that five months ago, all I did was admire you from afar, keep wishing that I could just muster up enough courage to say hi but never did, watch as you maneuvered across the Skytrex course after crashing to the ground while attempting that flip, watch in awe at your mime performance, scold myself as I resist adding you on Facebook, laugh when I coincidentally see you at 'that chinese place', get all nervous when I wrote on your facebook wall for the first time, freeze when I next encounter you during lunch(seriously...),...okay I must stop now.

That was just the beginning of everything, and never in my wildest dreams did I believe that we would be here, where we are today. I've done plenty of dreaming, but those dreams stayed what they were-- dreams. You must know something : I dreamt of you laughing with me; that came true. I dreamt of you being a great friend; that came true. I dreamt of you giving me the best hug EVER; THAT, unbelievably, came true.

But I won't bore you with my silly dreams. :P

You're a darling, a sweetheart, an understanding and gentle companion, the best friend, son and brother anyone could ever want. And that's the reason why I had to do what I did today, I just had to see you; I missed your hugs, I missed being around you alone... I missed you. You're very dear to me, just remember that, just as you are dear to your family, your friends and God.

So, for the very last time before the clock strikes twelve,

HAPPY BLESSED 19TH BIRTHDAY, REMY. ;)

(Hope you don't mind me stealing this adorable photo of you off your mom's facebook; I didn't have another nice shot of you, so I decided it would be a great idea to grab this and humiliate you in public XD )

I hope I managed to make your birthday a little more awesome.

I will never forget how you looked at me today, it was so different, your eyes lit up with something I couldn't quite fathom. It looked magical, as if those hazels suddenly took a life of their own. They were beautiful, so much so not even those sixteen stanzas could do any justice to it. They were smiling at me, a thousand charming little smiles through those brilliant green shades.

Keep smiling, daydreamer. ;)

*hug*

Lots of love,
Esther/Keh Wen/Lepsy.

Pancakes

2011-10-30T01:33:00.002+08:00

PANCAKES

This is what happens on a Saturday afternoon when you have two hungry brothers who have seemingly bottomless stomachs and lunch just isn't enough for them.

Yeah, you got me. I'm no chef here, by the way, I mean, I did some whisking and pouring but that was about it. Mom basically just took control of everything else. I've barely had any cooking experience, most of the time I just..observe. Like how I did again.

Whisking...

That's my mom, by the way.

She couldn't get some stubborn lumps to break down so I hunted for a whisk and did the whisking instead :D Smart person here, woohoo.

And then, to the stove we go!

... don't laugh. I know.

Our stove is over 20 years old(yes it's older than me), has rusty sides, the cover hinges have come unhinged from the stove itself, and the four gas fires have stopped working, but we still use it since the last remaining utility(the hot plate) still serves us well. Oh, and the oven works too, except we don't know how to bake.

I suppose you can say we're kinda backward and old-fashioned, especially if you ever visited our kitchen. XD

Smear some margarine...

Fill that cup...

Pour!

WOOTS!

Hmmm.

It was a bit too big at the beginning.

Mom had trouble flipping it, but managed to do so after I handed her a wooden spatula. She got worried after seeing it was 'too big', but I told her it was alright as long as it remained edible, for her children do not take into account the appearance of their food and merely care for the taste and the fact it was a pancake.

True story. XD

Getting ready to flip the Mama pancake.

..success!

Peace out from the chef.

Hahaha, my mom can be so retarded at times. Striking the lala pose next to the Mama pancake!

The Mama Pancake:

Ehehe...

It got slightly burnt at the bottom and tasted almost like roti canai then, but otherwise it was an awesome pancake. XD I called it the Mama pancake because it was the biggest, followed by a bunch of baby pancakes.

The birth of the baby pancakes:

My mom learnt her lesson and used only half a cup for all the other pancakes.

Another view of our stove.

After she made like, two baby pancakes, I asked her whether we could make the others banana pancakes since my older brother had suggested it. She told me to hustle if I wanted to, so I grabbed and peeled two bananas, mashed them into pulp, mixed them into the remaining batter and handed it back to my mom(Actually, it was forcefully taken from me before I had barely finished).

And so, came the birth of baby banana pancakes instead! :D

Mmmm... pancakes.

I should've used three bananas instead of two, but either ways, they turned out pretty decent for a first time XD. Thanks Adrian's mom for the pancake mix! Our pancakes are rather pathetic, all uneven and unsightly and probably a shame to her own pancakes which are sure to be smooth and golden and gorgeous, but it all got eaten. Every bit of them. Yep, even Mama pancake. That's how much my brothers love pancakes, or just food, in general.

The end result. :D

They're not very pretty, I'm sorry to say XD. And we're not one for presentation, they get eaten waaay faster than we can decorate. But everyone loved it, and mom was actually happy to cook, for the first time! GASP!

Anyways, now everyone knows what I was doing on a Saturday afternoon aside from all my horrific math. My version of recreation. A very delicious recreation. Period.

... I must, however, restrain myself from waffles. No. Waffles. For. Me. Anymore.

Rewind

2011-10-26T13:36:00.002+08:00

REWIND

Certain people have insisted that I am, in fact, eight years old instead of eighteen, due to some genetic disorder and hidden family secret that have managed to conceal my true age. Never mind about that, it's some silly inside joke, in which I am single-handedly trying to fight off. Grrrr. Darn those bullies. I'll get them for that one day, not to worry.

However, I'm pretty sure my mind would turn eight again should I ever enter the cinema to see this playing :

"The ciiiiiiircle of life...!"

"It's the wheel of fortune....,"

... I should stop singing now. People don't want to hear my voice in singing mode, I prolly sound like the hyenas from the movie, or so I got that from the impressions I made on my high school classmates when I once was in a musical mood and sang continuously to myself all through class.

It was embarrassing.

BUT; anyhow, the movie is being re-released in 3D format in cinemas for two weeks!

*Fangirl scream*

My parents want to go(mom's a HUGE fan lol), and I'm planning to go with Theresa seeing everyone else is sorta busy with exams at the moment, and I'm on a short break. Unfortunately, my phone finally gave out after holding on for dear life for about two weeks since that fatal accident, and now I have been widowed by my beloved Sony Ericsson. Sobs. But, I'm getting off-topic. The point is, I can't contact ANYONE without a phone, and after I passed the mourning stage I'm now in cold turkey withdrawal having no phone and having to rely on just Facebook or Skype to get replies from friends. Yes, I'm that sad.

Dad says he'll get me a new phone, I just have to go find one and obviously with a suitable price and such. I went through the Sony Ericsson models yesterday, and found one that I felt was just right, though it resembled a lot of my old one. I showed it to Dad today and he said it was fine(it's just a normal phone, all old-fashioned keypads and slide system but I like it that way, I have no need for touch screens and other high-tech gadgets when my iPod does the job just fine for me), but the nearest dealer is in BANGSAR VILLAGE. -.-' Seriously? How hard is it just to get a phone of my choice?

Anyway, Dad has gone out and I'm quite sure he went to get that phone XD. He said I needn't follow since I'd already made my choice, and he'll just go find that model and bring it home. Hopefully, he finds it within a reasonable price range, that is, if he even finds it in the first place. :S

I really hope he does. I'm not fussy about my phones, as long as it lets me text and call and all the other basic needs like alarm clocks, music player, camera, and calendar. Also, the name of the phone is soooo ironic, for a particular reason. XD Perhaps I'll blog about it if Dad manages to bring it back. Then you can see the irony of it all. Hehehe. ;)

Woah..got off-topic again. How typical of me. Oh well, that's what blogs are for, to rant about random stuff and to get off-topic. :D Ciao for now!

Sunday

2011-10-24T22:49:00.000+08:00

SUNDAY

There was a time in my life when I didn't have people attempt to hijack my car, blackmail me into coming over, go crazy trying to break my iPod passcodes, squeeze a number from one to sixteen out of me, SOLVE my iPod passcodes(holy cow that freaked me out), ignore my personal motto of "I am socially awkward" and drag me into socializing, make me go red-faced by memorizing *cough*, and finally, serve me waffles with butter and maple syrup.

The last part was just the icing on the cake. But I think I liked the middle part best. Torturing people is fun. Though when the person turns on you with insisting "number one to sixteen" again, you might have to um, think twice. Also, I got my revenge my opening all those apps and creating havoc within that iPad. But then I still had to choose a number. It wasn't fair. Zero wasn't accepted, and neither was seventeen D: Gosh, who knew you could be that stubborn with just a number? Eventually, I picked nine. I shouldn't have done that. I should've gone with nineTEEN and stuck with it, standing my ground. But nooooo, someone had to give way, and I had to, but only because I was being polite. Yes. Polite. Nothing else. Also, you're crazy for doing that. And I loved it. :)

Nearly got into trouble with Mommy and Daddy over the time, and it made me feel terrible, because then they apologized... TWICE. D: I feel so very bad for that, especially when I returned home and found out somebody called the house to talk to her. Exccuuuuse me now, "for future references"? I beg your pardon. You and your abilities to draw information out of me without me really knowing your true intentions. Well, now, from now on, I shall be ON MY GUARD. Har. Har. Har. Beware, creepy guy at work, beware.

All those ranting up there don't make no sense? Well then here's something that DOES make sense...

You don't need to know more. All you have to do is SEE.

Those waffles. So. good. Omg I'm craving one right now just looking at this. Nuuuu! D:

Also, because the creepy guy at work is so freaking creepy the way he keeps creeping behind my back and calling my house without me knowing and creeping me out with his creepy skills of breaking my passcodes, I shall embarrass him with with something that creeped me out when I discovered his computer table.

Try not to get too distracted by the delicious waffle and melting butter.

For someone whose supposed to be creepy, that kitty there sure didn't make much conviction. XD

Because you're reading this on that very computer screen right now, that's why. :)

And also, because I'm an awesome stalker. Okay, maybe not up to par as you perhaps, but I'm getting there. I'm getting there. Watch out. For me.

.....

In all seriousness though, I had a wonderful time :)

Sorry for my social-awkwardness-cum-anti-socialness, I tend to get rigid from my lack of being around friends' families. And I'd do anything right now to turn the clock back 24 hours so I can relive that last moment before I got into the car and drove off. Cause it was the best one, yet. And again, this one's just for you. :)))

To others who are probably looking on this with completely confused looks, yes, this is generic. YES, I'M being generic. Don't laugh. I know I'm not usually like that. Just... yeah. The new me. Muahahahaha.

P.S. I'm curious though, would you have REAAAAALLLY done what you said you would do if I had managed to free myself from the watchful eye of you three musketeers, and scurry back home? Because... I really cannot picture that happening. XD One day, I should do that and make a fool of myself just to find out. Should that one day ever come about again, though.

Cheers. :)